It started out good. Stetson woke up at 6:45am as usual. I
brought him in my bed and we snuggled, I fed him a bottle, and after lots of
“talking” he actually fell back asleep until 8. That never happens. And since
we all know I love sleeping late more than just about anything on the planet,
THAT is a good way to start the day.
Sonnet doesn’t have school on Fridays, so she slept in until
8:30am. We all went downstairs and Stetson and Sonnet played together in the
front room while I made some pumpkin pancakes. Stetson sat in his highchair and
chowed 2 pancakes all by himself. I may have eaten slightly more than 2; they
were good! Sonnet ate Captain Crunch because she’s too picky for any pancakes
at all, let alone pumpkin ones.
We cleaned up the kitchen, threw all the toys in the front
room back in their hiding spot, and went upstairs. Stetson practiced going up
and down the stairs a hundred times, which he thinks is super fun, especially
since we clap for him after every step. He has finally figured out how to go
down backward and he is very careful about the whole thing. We still keep a
gate up if we’re not watching him, but it makes me feel a lot better that he
CAN go down the stairs if he needs too and that he is at least aware that they
pose a danger and won’t just go barreling down them head first if no one is
around.
He played with his toys in his room, while I threw a load of
laundry in the washer (I try to do one load a day just to keep up without
making it a huge “chore”) and made my bed. Sonnet made her bed (which I will
admit I go back and “foof” when she is not looking because I’m anal like that).
Then we all played with all her stuffed animals for a while. The woman has a
full on stuffed zoo in her room.
Stetson got sleepy so I changed him, took him in his room, fed
him a bottle and rocked him in the rocking chair for a bit. He spit the bottle
out when he was done and just sort of rolled over onto my chest and conked out.
It was pretty cute. I tell you what, holding a sleeping baby is one of life’s
great pleasures. Part of me wanted to sit there all day and kiss his little
bald head. I just felt so happy! Eventually I laid him in his crib and went to
find Sonnet.
She wanted to watch a new show I had recorded for her on the
DVR and she really wanted popcorn. So I got her all snuggled on the couch with her
show and snacks and went to take a shower. (Obviously I am not one of those “no
TV” moms. BUT, I do limit to 2 shows a day and I am very picky about what shows
she is allowed to watch).
I checked email, facebook, blogs, etc. and got ready for the
day. Then Sonnet and I read some books together (holy crap, when your kid can
read to you instead of the other way around, well, it’s a pretty amazing
thing!). Then Stetson woke up.
We got him changed and gave him a bottle and then we hoped
in the car for some unnecessary but enjoyable errands, including a stop at
Einstein’s Bagels and a trip to the craft store (Sonnet appropriately calls it
the “crap store”).
We had fun and everyone was good and despite the wind (which
I HATE), I was still in a good mood. But then things started to go downhill.
What is it about being a mom that turns you into a
schizophrenic? One minute you are in love with your children, your life, the
whole world!… and you think you will explode because of all the love and
happiness and gratitude in your heart. Then the next minute you want to walk
out the door, get in your car, drive to the coast, and check into a motel
under an assumed name.
First, it was funny stuff… I was outside talking to my
friend and Sonnet was supposed to be watching Stetson in the front room. She
stuck her head out the door and yelled, “Stetson just ate a bug! A big one!”
Then Stetson started melting down because he didn’t go down
for his afternoon nap when he should have so we were in that awful purgatory
where it’s too late to nap now, but still too early for bed and everything is
super traumatic. A crying baby raises my blood pressure like nothing else on
the planet. Nothing can make me grouchier faster than carrying around a 20
pound ball of screams when you’re trying to get dinner ready, pick up the
house, feed the dog, answer the phone, and you know, think.
But my big issue is that Sonnet just keeps picking on
Stetson and today it really got to me. She’s not mean-spirited, but she just
does mean things to him and I can’t figure it out. It’s like she doesn’t think
it through and realize that he is a real little person and that he might not
like the things she does. Maybe she thinks he is a doll? I mean, she’s just not
very gentle with him. And sometimes he doesn’t care…. the boy is a little tank
who can handle a tumble and just keep going, but sometimes he actually gets
hurt or he just gets mad and he cries or yells at her and well, it makes me
really mad.
I’m a mama bear. I won’t let anyone hurt my kids. But when
one of your kids is picking on your other kid? They’re both yours… I don’t want
either of them to be hurt, but unfortunately, Sonnet always ends up getting
yelled at because she is older and bigger and I figure the baby needs to be
protected more than she does.
I’m not explaining myself very well.
I’m just really frustrated because I feel like I’m always
yelling at Sonnet for hurting Stetson. And like I said, it’s not like she’s
some mean kid with antisocial disorder who wants to blow up toys or burn ants
with a magnifying glass. She just doesn’t seem to really like him all that much.
She knocks him over or takes his toy or yells at him when he doesn’t do something
she wants or shuts her bedroom door in his face so he won’t come in and “slime”
her toys… she’s just not used to sharing and she’s just asserting her position
in the house and she doesn’t quite grasp the concept of empathy and it’s
probably just normal sibling behavior… but that doesn’t mean it’s OK.
And I don’t want to yell at her all the time because that
strains our relationship (and gives me a headache) and makes her resent her
brother even more. And really, she is a really good kid. But I’m not going to let her do things to the Little Man that make him
cry when he’s not big or old enough to stand up for himself.
So we just have drama in our house right now.
But really, it’s not that big of a deal and it will pass. Before
I know it, they’ll be in their 20’s and I’ll have all the time in the world to
go out for ice cream.
Seriously, my kids are getting so old so fast. That really
hit me today. Stetson took 2 steps on his own! I wouldn’t say he’s officially
walking, but he’s about a heartbeat away from it and I just can’t believe he is
the same scrawny baby I brought home 10 months ago. And Sonnet can read all by
herself! She sounds out words and spells things and she just sounds so old when
she talks and I love her guts.
And remember how I said the kids are finally asleep? That means I
should be too. So....
The end.
