"The Happiness Project"

BOOK REVIEW.

The Happiness Project
By: Gretchen Rubin

Gretchen Rubin is a happy woman with a good life, but she was starting to feel like she could be happier, like she should enjoy her life more. So she very methodically researched happiness and created a project for herself... she identified areas that she wanted to improve on and came up with a theme and specific goals for each month of the year. She called it her "happiness project"and has since created a very popular blog by the same name.

I really enjoyed this book. I don't think that I have much in common with the author (other than being a wife and mother)... I just feel like our personalities are very different... so some of her methods seemed a little nuts to me. She's a former lawyer and she definitely has that analytical, competitive type of brain. She was just so methodical about this whole process. I don't think it would dawn on me to create a "project" full of tasks and goals to make myself feel happier. BUT I understand why she did it and I get that it's probably quite an effective way to achieve something and I learned a lot. My personal themes and goals and tasks would be different than hers, but I like the framework that she created.

Overall, the book was a simple, fun read. She's open and honest and entertaining. I learned a lot and it made me think about some things in my life that I want to improve upon. These are some of the things that I wrote down that I want to remember...

Be authentic. "Be Holly." Do what you really like... Just because something is fun for someone else does not mean it has to be fun for you. Don't waste your time doing something you think you SHOULD like or WISH you liked. Spend your time learning and doing the things that really matter to you. There's a difference between lack of interest and laziness or fear of failure.

Don't be afraid of failure. Who cares?! Just try stuff.

"Don't let perfect be the enemy of good." -Voltaire

Don't worry about "results." Do things you like just for the sake of doing them. Like taking notes when you read a book... who cares what happens to the notes... don't worry SO MUCH about organization and everything having a place. Sometimes, if something seems like a good idea, just do it.

"All knowledge is interesting to a wise man." -Matthew Arnold

Recognizing your happiness helps you appreciate it.

Act the way you want to feel.

"The best occupations are the least forced." -Michel de Montaigne

Make a will.

What are you waiting for? Don't save stuff for a more special occasion. Use the good china and wear the new dress and eat up the last of the chocolate chips. Live now! Enjoy every day.

What you admire (or covet) in other people may be qualities that you possess but haven't developed yet.

What is normal to me is not normal to everyone else.

Don't be a "topper." Don't say things like "You think you had a bad night?" Don't try to top other people's experiences... good or bad.

Don't be a "deflater." Don't say things like "You liked that movie? I thought it was boring."

Make an effort to stay physically comfortable. It's much easier to be agreeable when you are not freezing, hungry, or looking for a bathroom. Carry a sweater with you, keep snacks in your purse, take an Advil as soon as you get a headache, "make water" whenever you can. :)

Laugh out loud. Grant your laughter to other people. It makes people feel good when you laugh at their jokes. Your children will feel especially pleased with themselves if they make you laugh.

Don't tell people how they feel... especially your kids. Don't say things like "You're not bored, you're not hurt, etc." Acknowledge and respect their feelings.

The days are long but the years are short. "Gaze lovingly." After the chaos of the bedtime routine is over and your kids are asleep, take time to creep into their room and watch them while they sleep. Gaze lovingly on those little faces.

Change your life without changing your life. Small steps make a big difference. Find joy in your own kitchen. The bluebird is right outside your window!

Beautiful Life.

Last Saturday, the kids and I decided to go out to Boulder City to hang out with my parents. I was starting to feel sick, Nate was at work, and I just couldn't face a long 24 hours at home alone with both kids. I fed the baby, burped and changed him, and tucked him in his carseat. I gave Sonnet some snacks and toys to entertain her in the car and took off down the road. I was really hoping she would sit quietly in the back and that the baby would fall asleep as soon as I hit the gas. Instead, Sonnet turned into a little chatterbox and then Stetson starting screaaaaaaming which made Sonnet talk and sing even louder. I was stuck at a red light for what seemed like forever waiting to get on the freeway with both children exercising the full capacity of their vocal chords. My head, throat, ears, and neck were aching and my eyes felt like they had sand in them. I was chugging Dr. Pepper because caffiene is the only thing keeping me on my feet these days. I was missing my husband and I felt like I hadn't had an adult conversation in ages. I looked at myself in the rearview mirror--- at my splotchy complexion, tired eyes, and messy hair--- and I thought "This is not my beautiful life" (a la the old Talking Heads song). I tried to ignore the noise and imagine I was laying in a hammock next to the ocean reading a book with no one in sight, no where to be, and no noise other than the roar of the waves. I indulged in the fantasy for a minute and then the light changed and I set off for the 30 minute drive across town. Stetson yelled pretty much the whole way and Sonnet doesn't seem to know the meaning of silence, so it was not a relaxing trip. BUT, eventually the thought came to me that even though a deserted beach and a nap sound like perfection right about now, I know that I am lucky to have the life I have. This IS a beautiful life. And it's MY life. And I chose it because I believed in it. And while I don't love a screaming baby, or the fact that I feel exhausted all the time, or how I feel guilty because I don't have the time and energy to entertain my Little Chatterbox like I used to, I'm glad that I'm here. "Same as it ever was" isn't so bad.

10 Weeks.

What I Wore Wednesday.

Purple tee and jeans- Target
White belt- Downeast
White shoes- Payless
Dottie scarf- gift

Flower dress- Downeast
Brown belt- Target
Red shoes- Payless

Yellow dress and blue bracelets- Downeast
Blue belt, both necklaces, and gold bracelets- Target
Nude pumps- Target

Orange top- Marshalls
White tee- Downeast
Jeans- Target
White shoes- Payless
Gold necklace, bracelet and flower earrings- Target

Good Moments.

I talk a lot about being "present" and enjoying the good little moments that come to me each day (see here and here and here, for example).

I don't love every second of my life-- in fact, most of the time I feel tired or hungry or terribly inadequate-- but overall, my life is wonderful and I know I am blessed beyond measure. The trick is to just focus on the good times and let the rest go.

Right after I had Stetson, I wrote a corny little post about stopping to smell the roses and how with a new baby, it's even more important to me to savor the good little moments and focus on what really matters.

I try really hard to do that. I literally say out loud "this is a good moment" when something happens that makes me feel happy or grateful or just plain content. I tell myself to slow down and to soak it up.

I've decided to start recording my "good moments" at the end of the day. Knowing that I plan to write them down encourages me to enjoy the moments even more while they're happening... and remembering them at the end of the day allows me to experience the good emotions all over again. Plus, it's an easy way to add positive entries to my journal.

So here are some good moments I had today...

Stetson sleeps with me at night. Sonnet used to sleep with me when Nate was at the station (until Stetson came along and started crying every night and she volunteered to stay in her own bed). But this morning, she must have snuck in my room after Nate left for work because I woke up with Stetson laying on my chest and Sonnet curled up next to me. For just a moment (before Stetson started yelling that he was hungry), I put my left hand on Stetson's back and my right hand on Sonnet's back and closed my eyes and felt them both breathing. I said a quick prayer of thanks for my two healthy, happy children tucked safely in bed next to me.

I love my car and I love to drive it. I put a lot of thought into what kind of car I wanted to buy and I have been very happy with my decision. I especially love when my car is clean... and since I just ran it through the car wash and vacuumed it this morning, it is quite clean right now. This afternoon, I was driving home from a lunch date with my buddy with some good music playing on the radio, Stetson was sleeping in his car seat, and Sonnet and her friend were laughing in the back seat. I put on my favorite sunglasses and laid on the gas a little (hey, they raised the speed limit on Blue Diamond) and for a moment... I just felt good.

The weather was nice today so we spent most of the afternoon playing in the backyard. Stetson is getting over his colic which means he has more times when he is awake and happy. He woke up from his nap and ate, and then we sat in the backyard swing together. For almost 30 minutes he just smiled and cooed at me. I kept expecting him to start crying, but he was in a really good mood and it was soooo wonderful to just snuggle with him and talk to him and see him flash his gummy grin over and over.

And right now, Stetson is asleep, Sonnet is parading around the house wearing a crown, and I have a free moment to write and eat a Snickers bar. Life is good.

Church Go-er.

Stetson went to church for the first time yesterday (where everyone commented on how chubby he is). I know, people, but isn't he just the cutest?!

He spent most of the time fussing at me (his belly seemed to hurt him all day yesterday- but he has since pooped- yay!) so I spent most of my time walking the halls with him. (Which, by the way, will stop when he hits about one year old. I just cannnot understand the parents who take their kids out of sacrament meeting and let them run around the foyer. Duh. Your kid knows that if they misbehave in church, they get to leave the boring meeting and go play in the hall. Make the hall a boring punishment, but give them fun, quiet activities to do in the pew and you may actually get to listen to the speakers once in a while. Common sense, people).

Anyways, the point of this post was to show you how freaking handsome my little man looked in his church gear. My friend gave him this custom onsie (with an S on it!) and when I added the little slacks and loafers, well, I almost died. I love having a baby boy! He'll be a missionary before I know it...

Easter 2012.

We had a nice Easter. The Bunny came and brought the kids swimsuits and a few little toys. I got Stetson a cute, personalized basket to match the one Sonnet's had for a few years, but Sonnet pulled all the loot out before I could take a picture. :) Stetson wore an Easter shirt...

Nate had to work so we went to visit him at the station. We took a huge tray of deviled eggs that got woofed down in 2 seconds. I love fire fighters. :)





Then the kids and I went out to my aunt's house in Boulder City for dinner and an egg hunt. Sonnet only wanted to pick up the eggs that she thought were "cute." Haha. :)


She had to stop hunting to make a wish. Oh, I love little kids.

My parents...


Too much fun for one day...



The end.

2 Months.

Stetson is 2 months old now!

He is a bit stingy with his smiles, but when he does give you a grin, it's adorable!

He likes to eat and he is getting quite chubby. Sonnet thinks it's hilarious that he has two chins.

He weighs 11 pounds now. That means he has gained 5 pounds since he was born, or a little more than half a pound a week, which is normal for this age.

He still cries a lot, but not as much as he used to. Yay!

He doesn't sleep enough, in my opinion. He goes to bed late and then wakes up early. I'm all for staying up late, but waking up before the sun is evil. It's taking some getting used to for me. How can anyone be that happy at 6am?!

He has super long eyelashes and perfect lips. I covet them.

He pretty much wants to be held all the time. I managed to figure out the Moby wrap and he will spend some time in that when my arms start to feel like they are going to fall off. Yay.

He likes to be held so he is facing out so he can see what's going on... except when he's sleepy or crabby then he still likes to be bundled up and cradled in your arm and bounced. Oh, The Bounce.

He thinks Sonnet is hilarious.

He sits up really well and holds his head up. He likes to try to scoot when he's on his belly and he's actually managed to roll over a few times already. I'm in trouble.

He knows our voices and turns towards sounds and tries to babble at us.

He's starting to grab stuff... like my hair. Ouch.

He looks just like Sonnet did, which means he will probably look just like Nate.

He's a lot of work, but he's so cute and sweet and special and it just feels so right to have him in our family.

Easter Fun!

Today, Sonnet dyed Easter eggs with Granny...


...while Stetson did this. :)