I have so many places to go...

You get a variety since everything sucks today.
I feel rather superfluous, all week I've been asked "Where is The Princess?" Apparently I'm not complete without him, or something like that. Of course then, I'm all "I don't know, he talks to Annie more than me" and she shows up even less than he does. I didn't realize I was being defined by the company I keep, or that I was not worthy of the company because he wasn't there.
Or maybe I'm just sick and sensitive, I'll get over it.
Today, Ms. Sweet called to see if Lucy and I would be at The Dive after work. I informed her Lucy is leaving for her trip tomorrow and would not be out. I never saw hide nor hair of Ms. Fan or Ms. Sweet this evening. They usually come out.
I came home early because, yeah, I'm not feeling real swell.
Annie and I talk about the New Guy at work. I called him my replacement. She got all kinds of bent outta shape. I still don't know why.
The conversation started with me saying "My Replacement is full of shit" so I have no idea what was up with that. I was kidding about him being my replacement, maybe I should worry now.
Other than that, I'm tired and hungry, and dammit, I can't order Chinese from here.
Later kids.

Sick? Tired? Single? Shit happens

Yeah, it's one of those nights.
I was late to work today because bed felt good. I wasn't coughing, I loved my pillows, life was good.
I finally got my dead ass up and went to work, waving bye bye to the magical pillow because I loved where I was before I had to leave.
WORK...shit happened, over and over and I coughed on everyone I could, just because.
Stupidity deserves to be sick.
I had lunch with Lucy since she's leaving town for awhile. I'm told I'm not allowed to say I'm single, I will be escortless for a couple of weeks.
She probably doesn't want to be around me anyway because really, the leakage when I sneeze or cough is soaking my panty liner. The OMG I might need to shit right now, is really not attractive, and the dry skin around my nose is not conducive to love or anything other than offerring a tissue, or balm.
Yes, I'm a very unattractive mess at the moment. Sitting in my own pee, kinda. I'm not real happy about that. I need to go put on a diaper and go to bed.
I talked to Baby Sis and apparently we have the flu. WTF did we get those shots for?
I'll be talking to Lucy and taking my ass to bed, ya'll have a good night.

Generic cough medicine

Lucy picked up some of this shit.

I started using it, it helps the cough for a little bit, but the flames shooting outta your ass later are not worth it.

I lost the original post that was much more funny because I was accosted with phone calls and my ass being drunk. I'll try to make up for it later, or not. My ass is still chapped from the flaming diarrhea.

No wonder we're all sick

It was 57 degrees when I left for work this morning. It's snowing right now. Fucking weather.

The buttercups are recovering from this really bad picture to say "What the FUCK?"

Mystery picture

Anyone? I know it looks a bit dirty, but I did wash it this morning.
Think knee perverts. Thankfully it was the good one. I mangled it with Lucy's wheelchair last night, I should have been in the chair instead of dragging it around it seems.
I could actually breathe this morning so I'm hoping we can weather this without a Dr. visit since I'm quackless at the moment. Hot Doc went out of business, I haven't gotten in a hurry to find a new one, I'd rather wait until the last minute, my meds run out, and I go crawling into a Doc In A Box screaming for someone to "HELP ME!"
Ok, not that dramatic but yeah.
I'm self medicating the cold with a shot of B&B every evening, I don't know if it's helping or if I'm getting better, but I sleep well.
Lucy fixed things with Mom, I'm having another shot just because, and taking my ass to bed. Ya'll have a good night.

I'm really sick, I just don't sound like it

You know how that happens? You really are sick rather than faking, but someone catches you at the moment you're feeling a bit ok and get outta the house?
Yeah, bit me in my big ole ass today.
I talked myself out of going to work because I felt like shit, Lucy and Annie had plans, I was staying home.
I fucked up when I was doing shit from home, had to go to work to fix it, they talked me into coming out. Ok, Annie did, Lucy was doing something else because Annie and Ms. Fan fucked her over on plans.
My mother called while I was at The Dive with these bitches because I could breathe for the first time all day and we were hanging out.
My mother says she tried to call multiple times, she was afraid I was in the hospital and shit and noone would call her.... My phone apparently missed some calls.
I'm at The Dive. Not good.
I can't lie to Mom so I told her where I was... I'm so fucked.

Early birthday present

Lucy just bought tickets to see Marcia Ball and Karla Bonoff. Different dates, but 3rd row for both, hell yeah.
We went out for a bit this evening after my nose quit putting out enough fluid to cure the drought problem and The Princess informed me about Marcia. I found Karla when looking for Marcia tickets.
All done, feeling like shit again going to bed. Yay me.

Another bad hair pic

I think this is what's killing me.
I went out in public looking like this and feeling like hammered shit because I had things to give to Ms. Fan, and I'm a stupid stubborn bitch. I refuse to admit I'm sick until I can't go anymore.
I'm sick, I'll be taking my ass to bed.
Night kids.

It's Bubonic Plague Month

The Spawn had to go back to the hospital today because of high temp last night and still not well. His pneumonia is better, he has a double ear infection. How the fuck can he get an infection with the antibiotics he was on? Nevermind, we'll move along.
He's home and on different drugs, poor guy.
Annie's hand is NOT broken since I think I forgot to share that yesterday, it's just fucked up. She's in bandages and lovely aluminum shit for a couple of weeks.
We were supposed to meet The Widow and Ms. Fan for darts tonight but they both begged off because Ms. Fan was beat from driving back from S. Fla after 2 weeks of fun, sun and getting laid and The Widow was sick from a weekend of partying and getting laid in Ga. So Sick and Tired went home. Annie and I went out anyway because Workout Buddy requested a Bail Bonds T-shirt and wanted to pick it up.
I drive by that sign a lot (free t-shirt with bond) and I always wonder who the hell would want one. Now I know.
I think The Widow infected me Tuesday when we caught up dammit. I woke up this morning with a scratchy throat thinking "I smoked too much last night, I really need to quit." Now, it kinda feels like someone ran a belt sander down my throat and poured a quart of hot oil into each lung. I should go catch up with Lucy and take my ass to bed. Night kids.
Almost forgot The Handsome Devil likes steroids, he thinks he's a puppy again. We'd dance to Scissor Sisters if I hadn't left the cd at work. Damn me.

Look what Annie got

No, she wasn't bailing out herself or me.

Nonsense

I have a shitload to say, and nothing to write. I've bitched, moaned, made a human sacrifice at work, and it's still not enough. I got to The Dive where I thought I was safe and the most annoying people in the history of the world showed up, sigh.
I think it might just be me, I don't like anyone today.
I threw some darts, badly, they were lucky to hit the board, I was throwing them at the other people is how far off they were. Just one jugular is all I asked, but noooo.

I'm blaming it on the hair.

Health updates and bullshit with The Girls

Let's see, The Spawn is home, recovering slowly, but at least he's home.
The Handsome Devil got to come home today, it's still trial and error with whatever is going on with him, but he's home and I have a list of shit to look up on the internet to see what might possibly be going on with him.
Stepdad was re-checked, they got all his Melanoma and he's recovering nicely.
Dad and I don't e-mail enough, besides Stepmom having pneumonia also she had tests on her pancreas, thankfully cancer free. What scares me is he didn't tell me that was a possibility, but anyway, I know Dad so......Now she gets to do tests for liver transplant options, she has a degenerative disease I can't remember the name of, hopefully that will go well also.
Mom is not feeling well, but after last weekend I don't think anyone is, so hopefully that will be better.
Lucy is still hobbling along, possibly inactivity is messing with her liver and yadda, yadda, yadda. Anyways.
Annie has an appt. with the Orthopedic dude tomorrow to make sure her hand isn't broken, it's pretty rainbow colors but seems to be working.
My foot is pretty rainbow colored too, but doesn't hurt and I really needed to cut that nail anyway so I'm good.
Good news, I know you've been waiting for some of that. Ms. Fan and The Widow returned from their respective trips and we all met at TGIF this evening to catch up.
We had fun, we usually do when we're together. I was home at 8:15 still laughing, talked to Lucy so I'm good for the night. Pretty boring now that I read it, but it beats the hell outta yesterday so I'm ok. Think I'll take my ass to bed early (yeah right) since they'll probably kill me at work again tomorrow.
Night kids, hope everyone is safe and sound.

Lucy is a dumbass

She asked me yesterday, "If you saw me across a room, knowing how old I was, would you ask me out?"
Well, first off, how would I know how old she was if I first saw her across a room?
Duh.
The answer was still "Yes."
I told her I just give her shit about her age because she lied to me about it, I may not remember what I had for lunch today, but I remember shit like that.
Maybe that's what's wrong, I have management memory these days, it's selective.

My List

Number of things I needed to do today 16.
Number of things attempted 16.
Number of things completed successfully 2.
I'm going to have a beer or 12.

Sunday and dinner

The Spawn got to go home today, better but still on meds, but at least he's home instead of the hospital. He and Baby Sis were having a nap when we called Mom this afternoon to check on them, so that's good.
Annie and I went to work for awhile where we were both semi-productive, but decided it wasn't worth it so we came home to chill out. We had dinner with a bunch of people at the Japanese place this evening. Lucy and I dropped Annie off at home afterwards and hit The Dive for a couple of games since some other people from dinner were going there. Home now, full and tired. Ya'll have a good night.

Grease and stupid shit

Lucy is in the bedroom watching Grease, I'm watching it in the living room. "Hopelessly Devoted To You" came on, I was going to run in there to karaoke it for her, she met me half way. Not bad for a cripple.
We're so stupid.

Where to start?

The Handsome Devil is still in doggy hospital. He took a backseat Friday when Mom called to tell me at 5 fucking 30 in the A.M. that The Spawn had pneumonia and they were putting him in the hospital. I spent most of Friday there so Baby Sis would have some support since Mom and Stepdad had to go have his recently diagnosed Melanoma operated on. Everyone needs to chill the fuck out right now.
I came back to town Friday night and Ms. Dart Bitch, Lucy, Annie and I went to Ms. Fan's house to take advantage of the hot tub since she's still out of town and we have the keys to the castle. Annie tried to fall in the pool and fucked up her hand (and she was sober). I hit a tie-down for the pool cover and fucked up my foot (drunk), but other than that it was fun. Stayed the night, went to breakfast, Lucy and I went to the hospital to visit Spawn after a nap Saturday, he's doing better, hopefully he'll get out today, I forget it's Sunday already.
Lucy and I came back to town and met The Princess at The Dive, Mr and Mrs HotStuff showed up so it was a good time there. I see him occasionally, haven't seen her since September, so we did some catching up. Let's hope Monday is a good day ok?
I'm off to catch up on ya'll since I'm slacking.

Dog Days

I woke up late because, well I do that a lot. Annie informed me The Handsome Devil had a hematoma. FUCK. We took him to the Vet, thankfully he was able to aspirate rather than put him out, but he's still there. They wanted to keep him to make sure he's ok. I think they just like him too much.
He came in my room and gave me nose kisses twice this morning. I have no use for doggie nose on my lips, but his wet nose, I got over. I love this guy, I'm not gonna be happy about losing him.
I'm in a quandry right now anyway with dogs. I gave stepdad a puppy, he's turned into a huge dog. He's a killer and something has to be done. I may have to go shoot him myself because it's that ugly, the vet won't put him down, but he's not trustworthy around small animals or children. It's not been a fun week.
I need another drink.

Happy VD

I took Lucy out to lunch, we had a nice time. We don't get out much just the 2 of us so we enjoyed it.
I got these. I'm impressed with both.


She got a stuffed frog and lunch. I think I win.

I am humbled

Thanks to RSG, I found this woman. I've been reading her blog pretty much all afternoon, and finding her smart, funny, and someone I'd like to know.
I owe her an apology, I judged her without knowing her. I hate it when people do that to me, but it's easier in my life to deal with that. She has many, many people who do that to her. It's not fair, or funny, or socially acceptable but we do it anyway. Human nature at it's best or worst, depending on how you look at it.
So, "I'm sorry if I ever said anything bad about you Mrs. E.". I never had the right do do that.
Preconceptions, or misconceptions can lead to a whole load of bullshit, I've been guilty of riding that boat. I'm trying to get a little more real in my life, I don't need bullshit. So ya'll have a good night, and know I really mean that.

Weather

It was 70 degrees yesterday. Today we have this.

I'm so suave LOL

Dear Ms. Wolf,
My name is Lucy. I have a friend that told me you are fun, attractive and enjoy playing darts. I was wondering if you would like to meet for lunch on Thursday, February 14th. I know that is Valentines Day but I felt it would be a nice day to meet each other. I also understand that I’m a few years older but I hope this will not be an issue. I have been told I’m not bad looking for my age. I enjoy conversation and I love playing games. Please return my email if you are interested. If we are going to meet please decide on time and you choose where you would enjoy having lunch.
Hope to see you.
Lucy

Hello Lucy,
Our mutual friend told me it would be in my best interest to meet you, so yes, let's have lunch. We have a plethora of choices close to where I work, Pizza, Chinese, Steak, Offal House and Motel, or McDonald's. You pick.
Do we need a motel room for this meeting, ordering Steak Out, or would you like to actually meet out in public (since you sound a bit sluttish and all.) Just asking:) Halter tops are a bit out of season, but I’m willing to overlook that if you have great boobage. I'm the bitch with the green eyes and curly hair, desperately in need of a cut. Pick a place and I'll see you there.
Rain

Great, I can’t wait to meet you. Steak or Chinese sounds good. I know you have to get back to work and I normally don’t do quickie’s, but it would take the edge off the heat I have been feeling between my legs. So if you would like we could have dessert at the Motel. I’m the red head with Double D’s and hazel eyes. Oh, I’m not blonde but watch the large words like plethora. I think that’s what started me getting hot it sorta sounds like clitoria. Lol . Anyway let me know what time.
Lucy

What she got for real.........I'm not that much of an ass..............

Lucy,
I would love to meet you for lunch on the 14th. Anytime you can get here is good.I've heard you're quite the person to know so I'd hate to miss out on a conversation with a wonderful woman. I prefer the company of older women, so you don't have to worry about that part. I'm still a novice at life in my 40's, I learn a lot from older women.
Call me with a time you'd like to meet, and tell me what you're in the mood for, we can eat anywhere. The company is more important than the meal anyway.
Hope to see you soon
Rain

Grammy

I missed Tina Turner dammit. I did see Aretha, I was comparing her bra size to Lucy's. I'm not sure who won since there was obviously slippage involved. She looked good in yellow, (Aretha, not Lucy.) Lucy was looking not so good in red face while contemplating my untimely death.
Amy Wino racked up (with her small rack) and got me a job as a stripper if I was 100lbs thinner cuz I did a great job for the cripple while she was singing "You Know I'm no good." Hello, I've done that before, just with no clothes on rather than taking them off and.......uh......yeah........ya'll didn't need to know that.
NEVERMIND.
Maybe Amy will straighten her shit out, she has talent out the ass, unfortunately it's all out her ass these days.
Aretha needs to talk to her about some "Respect".
Yeah, I'm going to bed soon. It's been a long, ugly day.
Night kids.

Spawn Saturday

Lucy and I visited the family today, we had a great time of course. There were no overalls pictures because Spawn was in need of a nap, and I didn't really want to change clothes, but Lucy will be persistent I'm sure. We grilled burgers and hung out, and played with the kid. He took a ride in Lucy's wheelchair and then got out of it to limp around the livingroom making fun of her. He's such a little smartass. I wonder where he got that?
He's obsessed with Johnny Cash at the moment, I have no idea where the hell that came from, but he had to listen to him and play his guitar. I'll have to post some video when I think about getting it from Mom, he cuts a rug.
He stood on a cd case and preached a sermon before we left, which was really funny because Lucy asked me on the way there if he was still going to church with the parents. She said he'd be doing that since he's such a little mimic, she was right. There was babbling, finger pointing, and bending at the waist and looking at the sky, voice going up and down. Lord help us all when he gets older than 18 months. I got the finger of "going to Hell" pointed at me. Oh well.

Lucy is

You Are Chardonnay

Fresh, spirited, and classic - you have many facets to your personality. You can be sweet and light. Or deep and complex. You have a little bit of something to offer everyone... no wonder you're so popular. Approachable and never smug, you are easy to get to know (and love!). Deep down you are: Dependable and modest Your partying style: Understated and polite Your company is enjoyed best with: Cold or wild meat

What Kind of Wine Are You?

Since I have tasted Lucy (wine-wise you perverts) I would say yes, spot on.

Nothing to say

I was late to work today...after 2 weeks of being early, I said fuck it. I woke up early, then went back to bed for an hour, and woke up late, and said fuck it.
Annie should be taking care of it anyway, I've just been being nice.
Lucy and I went out this evening, The Widow and I beat up on The Princess and Boytoy even tho they were being assholes. I don't much like Boytoy, but since he's The Widow's, I play nice.
We got our T-Shirts that I forgot to tell ya'll about. Ms. Fan ordered shirts for us. They were supposed to be teal with pink letters. They're Lavender with very, very bright hot pink letters. They blind me everytime I look that way. They say "I LOVE this song." We'll be the height of non-lesbian fashion this summer. I'll be sure to post a group pic.
Other than that, nothing, nada, zip and even a doo dah.
Ya'll have a good night.

Really?

You Are Sauvignon Blanc

Engaging and energetic, you have a lot to offer the world - most of it they've never seen anywhere else! You are the type of person who carves your own path in life... and you invite everyone else to come along. The only thing predictable about you is that you could have anything up your sleeve. You're all about sampling all of life's experiences. Both the savory and unsavory ones. Deep down you are: Laid back and young at heart Your partying style: Anything goes... seriously! Your company is enjoyed best with: Smoked meats or spicy food

What Kind of Wine Are You?

Stolen from RSG.
Since I've never tasted me I have no idea if I'm any good or not, but the description pretty much works.

Toodeleedoo

Mom mentioned an old doll I had, his name was Toodeleedoo. She says there is a picture of me holding him while I'm wearing my overalls. She just can't find it.
I vaguely remember the doll, he was a ragdoll jester. I have no idea what happened to him. I probably buried him in the backyard since I have a fear of clowns now.
She took a picture of The Spawn recently in his overalls and said he looked just like me. Well duh. We're both so fucking adorable it's obvious we're related.
Lucy has forbidden me to cut my hair so she can get a curly haired pic of both of us this weekend. Bitch.
Yes, I'm drunk, very actually. I'm taking my ass to bed. Night kids.

False Alarm and Herbal Bullshit

Apparently Annie's sickness was possibly food related, or more likely "workout avoidance" related. She's all better today.
We had this conversation when she got home about the new "herbal supplements" workout buddy is recommending.
A: J takes this and it makes her blahblahblah.
Me: You know, you haven't had nearly as many kidney stones since you quit taking all that shit that someone else recommended to you years ago.
A: I know, but, blahblah calcium blah.
Me: Hello? I drink shitloads of milk and beer, eat enough cheese to stop up an elephant and rarely touch water. I've never had a kidney stone.
A: I know, but she says this and this is good for blahblahblah, and it's working for her and....

Yeah, whatever. I'd just rather not have the 3am visit to the Emergency Room. I'm marking it on the calendar for week after next.

Virus

Apparently there is a nasty stomach virus running around here lately. Sharon is quite possibly suffering from it, The Widow's Boytoy got sick Sunday night and is still not well. Annie was going to vote and meet me and The Princess this evening, but called to tell me she was sick and could I bring her 7UP...we can't have this shit.
Everybody Purell, I sure as hell will be, and hope the sickies feel better soon.

Okey Dokey Then

Sunday, Lucy and I pretty much slept all day since I kept her up all night talking, so I hear. I can get quite chatty when I'm shitfaced and in good company.
We went out a bit early since The Princess was making an appearance (He's been scarce all week) and The Dirty Old Man was bringing gumbo.
I assured her we wouldn't stay for the whole game. Well duh. I was throwing darts, and there was drama, and yes we stayed. I then packed Lucy up and sent her home. Damn.
I needed to get to work earlier than I did this morning, but at least I was early.
I'm now taking my tired ass to bed, I'll tell you about the 6yr olds kicking my ass later.
Night kids.

I see I spoke too soon. I didn't make it to bed yet because I suck. If you get to vote tomorrow kids, I don't give a damn who you vote for just do it.
I registered becasuse my Dad told me "You have the right to vote, if you give that up, you give up the right to bitch."
Now, I'm kinda sorta heading towards bed.

Serious ramblings

Carnation Instant Breakfast
I saw an ad for it earlier, and of course memories rode right along.
I lived with the grandparents as a small child, we were dirt poor. On welfare I found out later, I didn’t know what it was at the time, we got free stuff like cheese, prunes, and rice, oh, and instant potatoes, loved those. I didn’t realize till I was older what that was about.
The landladies had Carnation Instant Breakfast sitting on top of the fridge. They would give me one occasionally, it tasted like chocolate milk. Not the sugar and hershey’s cocoa I was used to, but real chocolate milk.
I still haven’t figured out why they even had that, they were very old school, milked their cows, made their own butter, that must have been a luxury for them because they did everything else the hard way.
I didn’t realize it at the time but I was having a great childhood. I’m just glad I remember it..
The landladies were a Widow and her 2 daughters, I also didn’t know they were twins until I was older. One was fair haired and all about the house stuff, she cooked and tended to he household needs while her sister was dark-haired and did most of the farm stuff. She was my best friend. She and I played games, she taught me to milk a cow, and how to pick cotton. She also made the best egg custard pie I’ve ever put in my mouth, her sis had to be jealous about that, because hers wasn’t as good.
I went rabbit hunting in the snow once with Mertie, she showed me how to follow tracks, we didn’t catch anything, but we had a good time. She played hide and seek with me, laughed when I got wasp stung after she told me not to do that, and didn’t tell me that calf I was befriending in the pen was gonna be dinner in a year.
I didn’t realize until she died and I did the math, the woman was in her mid 50’s when I was 4 and she was my best friend. Damn, time flies and stupid shit can trigger the most stupidest memories.

Different

The Princess either has a secret boyfriend or a shitload of new porn, we haven't seen much of him lately.
Annie's parents came over today so we had to do some major speedcleaning, that's not a bad thing except I really wanted to just sleep. I got over it.
Lucy and I went to The Dive just to get out of the house, we called Ms. Sweet since she is pretty much on her own since Ms. Fan is out of town. (No, they're both str8, they just hang out together a lot.)
We have keys to Ms. Fan's house, I may go hit the hot tub tomorrow just because I can. Other than that, Dirty Old Man is making gumbo for the ballgame, so I'll be at The Dive for some of that.
I may go ahead and drag Lucy to Ms. Fan's house tonight hehehe.
Later kids.

Score!

I know ya'll probably aren't as excited as I am, but I'll get over it. I just got excellent seats to see Jackson Browne. Annie has seen him before but it'll be my first time. Let's hope it doesn't suck:)