DId I cause a firestorm, or am I just loved?

I went to The Dive this afternoon to pay money for a fish dinner to benefit a bartender. Fish was good.
I apparently stayed too late, talking to The Princess. Other people showed up, got uppity with the owner (and I didn't even know about that)
Ms. Asshole came over and got a smoke, then told me she was opening her own bar because she didn't like this one.
I said fine, open your own place and stay the fuck outta here since you hate it so much.
Apparently that made me a celebrity. I had free beers lined up from the bartenders.
If you don't like something why revisit?

A Conversation With Lucy

Me: You know you look a bit like Sarah Palin with your hair up like that.
L: Oh hell no, I have a brain cell.
Me: Where? Under your bun?
L: (After grabbing me by the collar) You're lucky you're cute.
Me: I'm fucking adorable.
L: (Laughing) I've created a monster.
Me: Yes you did, I had low self-esteem until I met you.

I just asked Lucy if she wanted to approve this message before I sent it out. She said no, she's gonna kick my ass anyway.

Night kids.

This was a given

Your Mind is NC-17 Rated

You're mind is so filthy... you should should be washing every part of you out with soap. If your thoughts can go dirty, they do. Almost everything is NC-17 to you!

Do You Have a Dirty Mind?

Stolen from here.

A Sad Reality

Mom called today, to check on Dad's procedure from last week because I apparently told her about it, and informed me The Grandson didn't know until afterwards. OOOps.
My bad, I need to call him more often.
Lucy and I were talking about the grapevine, she finds it fascinating that everyone knows everyone else's business. Armpit is a small town, they have nothing better to do than monitor everyone else.
We laughed about Mom calling me, but the sad thing is if Mom hadn't accidentally found out about StepMom being in the hospital, Dad wouldn't have called to tell me.
He would have called when she died, but I wouldn't have had what little time I did have with her while she was alive.
Sometimes things work like they should.

Lollipop, lollipop

I don't think I could deal with the bacon.

Absinthe on the other hand...



Site.

Piss on your Comet

I just went to pee. Annie had left Comet in the toilet. I don't know why because hers is much nastier than mine so......
I'm in a foul mood. I'll just get that out there in front because, really.
I still don't feel well so of course I'm grouchy, work sucks ass, INVENTORY, I'm still doing something at INVENTORY she should have been doing herself (not Annie this time) and I really still don't feel well.
Annie cooked crockpot chicken today, I was looking for a bowl to put the leftovers in when I got home and ended up on a ladder cleaning the fucking cabinets out because I couldn't find the lid I needed. I never did, so the bowl went in the trash too.
I did spend time at The Dive talking to The Princess about dreams, and lost siblings, and lost pets, and I'm sure that has nothing to do with my present mood.
I should just come home and watch CSI, it would be easier on everyone.

Looking for the Culprit

I wrapped up and froze the leftover pork tenderloin I so lovingly grilled for Sunday's dinner since it was obviously not the one, otherwise Lucy and Annie would have also had their intestines used to calf-rope their stomachs. I'm glad, but unfortunately Wilbur and I will not be on speaking terms for a while.
I've felt like leftover shit all day, and the insides and outsides hurt equally most of the day. The insides finally settled down after I got off work. I was there at 6:15am since my insides didn't want me to sleep again so that was a shock to everyone. It's ok, it's Inventory week in Hell so I have plenty to do.
I'm gonna guess whatever BabySis had last week caught up with me and leave it at that, dammit.
Annie was combing The Handsome Devil earlier, she's a bit obsessive about it, so I didn't really notice what she was doing. I went to the bathroom and there is a pile of golden fur sitting on a paper towel on a corner of the sink. I asked her why there was a Tribble in my bathroom. She didn't get it. I just said Star Trek, she said OK. It works.
I'm going to smoke and wait for Lucy to call. Night kids.

See What Happens?

After all the sleeping, relaxing and fun having this weekend, I got violently ill last night. I'd had a touch of diarrhea all day, last night it got much worse. About 3 am I'm puking my guts out. I haven't thrown up in probably 10 years people, it was not at all pleasant. Thankfully I seem to have gotten all that out of my system, I made it to work about 1pm because they couldn't seem to live without me. My innards still feel like they're full of Ninja throwing stars, but at least I can move without groaning. I was heading to bed an hour ago, but decided to talk to Lucy first since that's always easier than worrying her by telling her I'm sick and going to bed in a text. Now I'm really outta here. Night kids.

Another concert

Did I tell ya'll I was going to see BB King? Well I did, and it was great. Annie was under the weather so Lucy and I went without her, poor Annie. An 83 year old man sitting on a folding chair and entertaining for 2 hours was more enjoyable than a whole lot of shows I've seen with a hell of a lot more activity. I hope he makes it back here again.
Other than that, it was another pretty worthless day so I'm at least rested up for hell week at work. I now need to wind down and take my ass to bed. Night kids.

I have been completely worthless

Lucy and I slept late, I showered with thoughts of a haircut and work, got over both.
Played around online and remembered The Dirty Old Man was making red beans and rice for the Alabama football game today. I dragged Lucy to The Dive to eat, and we stayed for awhile.
She's gone to the video store for a copy of The Women (the original) and I'm just waiting for her to get back so we can have couch time with Joan Crawford.
There may be stupidity later, but I dunno, I'm tired from being worthless.

I got a piece of shit on my shoe

I was visiting Sassy and apparently stepped in her troll.
He stopped by to share the hate this afternoon, so now all the shit I find frustrating is going on here. Sorry.
Hopefully I'll be back to my normal non-monitoring self soon.
Night Kids.

I took a Mental Health Day from work

Because those two words didn't go together in my vocabulary yesterday for some reason. I'm not sure what happened, but I had a really bad day. I called Dad last night and he'd been having one of those days too, which didn't help mine at all.
So today, I got up to go to work, looked in the mirror, and took my ass back to bed because I looked like Hell run over by a tractor. After sleeping half the day I got up and started cleaning my bedroom, I figured organizing and de-cluttering would help me get a handle, and it helped. I dunno, I thought I was handling things ok, but apparently not.
My feeling is I'm tired, every weekend has been busy, busy, work is busy, busy, and I try not to think about shit, but it's still there and the whole big sack of shit just hit me upside the head yesterday. I'm now taking my ass to bed because I'm a tired puppy again. Night kids.

It's been a year already?

Babysis has circled the sun yet another time, I don't know how she does it and still manages to take care of a small child.
She only looks 50 (she still hasn't forgiven The Dirty Old Man for thinking she was older than me, 10 or so years ago) when she's a paltry 35.
Happy Birthday Babysis, I hope you never see this, but if you do, I was kidding, you look 40:)

I Came Home After Work

Don't have a heart attack, it happens occasionally. There was hamburger in the freezer that needed cooking, Annie was out of town, I had fun.
I Krogered and got stuff to make tacos, cooked dinner, made myself a Chile Relleno since I found some of those huge peppers Dad gave me that I thought Annie used in the salsa. Then I did laundry, apparently everything I owned was dirty, I haven't been all here lately, apparently I've been washing enough to clothe my ass and gotten over it. Much ironing was done, more will need to be done, but I'll be good in a couple of days.
I'm now taking my tired ass to bed.
Night kids.

I played with a Pro tonight

I went to The Dive after work because I apparently have nothing better to do. I sat and drank beer by myself since Annie was at home working and The Princess got the last season of Will and Grace on DVD.
I went to cash out and she gave me another beer so I sat back down for a bit. The Pro came over and challenged me to a game for a shot.
I haven't seen the guy in forever and he rarely plays, apparently he was in the mood tonight. He really was a Pro, he throws lefty and badly enough to make it a game when he plays with commonfolk, so I do enjoy hanging out with him, he gives me tips too. He gave me the highest compliment of my darting life tonight, after asking why I didn't point, me telling him I had time, he said "You play my game." That made me feel good because he's THAT GOOD and he doesn't get uppity about it.
We had an enjoyable 5 games, he won 3 so everything is right with the world.
Night Kids.

Do not EVER, EVER

get drunk and let Annie wax your eyebrows. I now have an eyebrow piercing with no eyebrow to accompany it.
Lucy was not amused when I told her I'd paint on a Joan Crawford on the left and a Bette Davis on the right.
I think she needs a new sense of humor, I found it quite funny.
You know I'm gonna do it too, poor woman.

I give you Chef Spawn

Lucy and I took off for Armpit yesterday after I finally finished all my chores around here since I've been a bit remiss. We cooked a lot. I also need to get video from Mom of me riding Spawn's new Gator, Babysis on his mustang, and him on his lawnmower. We had a blast.

I Hate My Neighbors, otherwise titled, I just HATE

This morning while I was being late to work I noticed Animal Control next door with the sweet white dog who has escaped yet again.
The neighbors have a history of dogs that disappear, so that's where my hate comes from. They did make an attempt with this one, but still.
I asked if I could put her back in her fence "Not unless you will take responsibility for her."
Ok, can I put her in MY fence where I know she'll stay? "Not unless you take responsibility for her."
I finally asked how much "responsibility" would cost me. (Brain WAS working at some point today.)
$200 fine for having a dog out.
I helped them take her to jail because if I'm gonna pay $200 she's gonna be my bitch. I felt like shit and cried all the way to work.
If they don't bail her out I'll go get her myself, fuckers. I'm sure that'll cause an international incident but it's not her fault her humans are stupid.

I Hate PMS, or Perimenopause, or whatthefuckever you wanna call it

I'm alternating between starving and not having an appetite at all. I'm as likely to laugh as I am to cry.
I hate feeling like "Poor Pitiful Me", but today has been that kind of day.
The Princess finally got to The Dive and we talked, I do love him, he's a good friend. We may fight occasionally, but he's a good guy.
I'm a lucky woman in some respects, I do have good friends, and then I have other friends, I used to be a better judge of people.
The Princess said it's not so much "I used to be" as I got friends and forgave them for a lot of shit I didn't used to put up with. He's probably right.
The people who stay in my life are there because no matter what I support them and they support me. That makes him a keeper, even when I want to rip his nuts off for being an ass.
I'm going to bed to hopefully start my period so I'll be less angsty, I'm too old for that shit.
Night kids.

Things have been stupid lately

I have been lied to, and not very well. I'll process.
I don't like liars, at all.
Mom always told me "If you lie, you will get caught".
True Dat.
I've pretty much stuck with that since she's right. I tell the truth because it's much easier than backtracking.
Some people don't seem to have that gene.
A woman older than me lied to me, it bothers me she felt the need to do that. She's history because hello, if you can't trust your friends?

I'm officially old

I heard this song thanks to the SUV travelling down the street while I was smoking.
After finding out it's R. Kelly, I'm not so surprised, but I did laugh my ass off.
The song is The Zoo. I don't think it'll be on my playlist anytime soon.

Girl, I got you so wet

It's like a rain forest

Like Jurassic Park

Except I'm your sex-a-saurus baby

HAHAHAHAHA

You Are a Losing Lottery Ticket!

Full of hope and promise. But in the end, a cheap letdown.

What Crappy Christmas Gift Are You?

I Figured Out How To Get Rid of the Blahs

Go to work on Saturday morning and get totally pissed the fuck off. I can do this for you too for a low fee of $29.95 a month, I can send someone out to fuck up your shit.
I haven't worked a weekend in awhile, but had to check on stuff yesterday, and it was ugly, and made me late getting out of town, and I was not a happy camper.
I had to stop by the part store on my way out, with the understanding that I would be back at work today to fix all the shit I had to steal parts for because Flash has fucked me up beyond belief.
All good now, but if he wasn't a total asshole, I'd be ripping him a new one tomorrow. Ok, he may get taller tomorrow.
Enough about that.
Lucy and I got to Dad's pretty much just in time to leave for the Mini Midget Football game we had to watch because G GDaughter is a cheerleader.
I don't like kids, but it was fun, poor guys, helmets and pads were bigger than they were, no wonder they got trounced.
We got back to Dad's, he had ribs, Lucy made mashed potatoes, I did cornbread, excellent dinner.
Dad and talked quite a bit last night about stuff that needs to be done, and will get done in the next few weeks. Stepmom's stuff came up, and I told him I wanted that ugly ass Squirrel, and why, he laughed and said he didn't know why she liked it either, but there it was. Dad is off to do some work and have a vacation this week.
I'm about to be slammed with work, so we'll see where it all goes.

Guilt

I have a shitload of it. Anybody want some? I'm trying to get rid of some cheap.
Lucy tells me to look for the good, and I am, and I'm finding it, but it still doesn't make the bad go away.
I spent a lot of time with Dad and Stepmom back in the day. I should have spent more after she got sick but shit happened and she was all "I know you're busy, don't worry about us." I slipped further and further into not visiting and not calling.....and I feel like shit about it.
On the good side, Dad and I talk frequently now, he's not afraid to ask me to do stuff, and Lucy and I will be visiting again tomorrow to hang out and take care of bullshit for him.
Stepmom has finally got us where she wanted us all these years, we actually talk to each other. And that damned squirrel is watching.
Night kids.

I looked nice, according to Mom

I met Mom yesterday afternoon at Dr. Oncologist's office because I expected to meet New Guy, he was gone. Instead we saw the real Dr. who said everything looks good, scheduled her new scans to make sure things stay good, and we're good.
On the phone Mom told me she thought I looked good because I was in jeans that fit and a shirt that almost did. She always sees me in baggy shorts and big shirts. Hello, I like those.
I wore the jeans she gave me for x-mas (button fly, I hate them) and a pink shirt since I was trying to look respectable and all.
Can't win with Mom, I was too fat, now I'm too skinny.

Annie will be upset

I'm sitting outside, she has 2 bottles of Sevin(something) out here, and there is a fly on each. Nope, not dead, I just checked.
I think I'll not tell her.

Lucy was almost disappointed

As everyone knows, Lucy is not happy with my eyebrow. Fine.
We get to Dad's house Saturday and I'm barely in the door before she's telling him "Yell at her! Do you see what she did?" Dad looks at me and tells her "I'm not gonna yell at her, if she's not old enough to make her own decisions now she never will be." Yay Dad.
We made jokes about it but she was miffed he saw my point (of course everyone tells me I'm just like him so that may be why.)
Sunday we went to Mom's house before coming home. Lucy was vindicated.
Mom threatened to kill me twice before settling on disowning me for a month. She gave me shit for a few hours, Lucy and I headed home and Lucy asked for my phone. I just assumed hers didn't have a good signal, should have known better. She called Dad to tell him Mom gave me down the road since yes, Dad knew she would.
I'm glad to be cheap entertainment.

"Bugs aren't supposed to scream!"

One of these slipped into the house Saturday night at Dad's when I went out to smoke. I was hoping that wasn't the case after I heard a helicopter go by my head, but unfortunately Lucy let me know it was a couple of minutes later.
She ran to the door screaming "Where's the broom?" because said critter was attacking the light in the kitchen with a vengeance, and it was loud, and Dad was hopefully asleep at midnight. I hand her the broom from the porch along with the flyswatter for good measure, close the door and pick up my cigarette. Lucy stands there for a few seconds, broom in one hand, flyswatter in the other, then screams at me "Aren't you going to help me?" Sigh. I throw down my smoke, go in, take the broom from her and decide to just cut off the light. Lucy is freaking now that it's going to go to that lamp, it didn't. I grab a paper towel and find the bug on the floor so I pick it up and it cusses me out in a language I can't understand. Now Lucy is all "Get it out, it's screaming, bugs aren't supposed to scream." Of course I hold it closer to her.
I don't think I'll ever get laid again.