I'm so Fucking Pissed about SCOTUS

Friends, so I thought, I swam in their pool, was about to have dinner, when news came on the DVR'ed Jeopardy we were gonna watch. He asked what went on today because they were talking about Hobby Lobby. I told him. He did a fist pump and yelled "YES". I said sorry, going home. We've always agreed to disagree, and he said that. I just told him yeah, but that was different. It's total bullshit. He's the friend who ordered the Vape for me too, so he's already been controlling me so I'm really, really pissed.

I never should have gone over there today anyway. I need to listen to myself more. I'll start tomorrow because I could have avoided that mess by just coming home in the first place.

Won't make that mistake again.

Smoking

I'm trying to stop. It's not easy or fun. I have a giant phallus to suck on, but it's not the same. I still have a cigarette, some days more than 1 or 12, but I'm doing really well actually. I only buy 2 packs every 3 or 4 days instead of every day. Since I told the store owner I was quitting he isn't ordering for me anymore so at last count I had 7 packs. It makes me nervous. I like smoking. Vaping is ok, but it's not the same.
I'm feeling pressured to quit since my last smoker friend quit. He's the one who ordered the phallus for me btw. I don't like being bullied, and that's how I'm feeling right now so I want to rebel and say "Hell NO", but I know it's good for me and all that. Days I have laid off smokes, I've been breathing better, so I'm gonna do it. Dammit, I'm gonna kick and scream, but I will.

Since I've Been Asked

No I haven't quit. I just don't have too much to say these days. Or, actually, I just don't say much of anything these days. I spend too much time away, where I drink way too much and by the time I get home, it's pretty much all over.

I spend most nights having dinner at The Asshole's house. Dinner means, a shitload of beer, at least a couple of shots of tequila, and whatever culinary dish she saw on the Food Network that day. Oh, and Jeopardy! Baby.

It's a new rut, and one I need to get out of because besides the fact that I drink way more, I'm gaining weight and I'm really happy skinny (er).

Going housesitting tomorrow so that'll help, but I still have to hang around here because Annie is always in Tn on weekends since her Dad died. Still a bunch of sad about that.
Anyway, off to probably sleep soon because I'm a tired puppy, I'm still too old for this shit.

Shocked and Sad

A friend who I don't see often, but a friend nonetheless, wound up in the Emergency Room over the weekend. Cryptic messages from other friends on facebook got the point across that he was beaten up.

Got the whole story today and I'm just appalled. He's a gay man. We all know that, I was afraid some asshole at a bar cleaned his clock because , well, just some asshole at a bar. I've never known him to have a boyfriend, but apparently he's been seeing someone pretty seriously lately so all good.

His brother beat the shit out of him because he brought boyfriend to a family outing. His brother, who knows. Apparently it was ok to know, but not to see.

As bad as it is to be me, I'm thankful my family has let me be me, and accepted whoever I was seeing. Hell, they became family, and still are, whether they're around or not. I can't imagine the hurt he must feel after this.