I'm One Grouchy Ass Bitch

That should be enough, but no, I'll let you in on the whole thing just because I'm like that and all.
I felt uncomfortable in my jeans and my skin today, holy shit I've gained 10 lbs or something. Nope, I seem to be just seriously in need of a period.
I played nice at The Dive with Ms. Sweet, but by the time I got home I was a raging bitch and told Annie she and The Princess could both suck my dick because they can't do anything they say they will and then told Lucy to stay the fuck away from me so she's now in my room and I have to go fix it.
I think I'll just go sleep on the couch until someone bludgeons me to death.
Night kids.

Dammit Bitch

I've told you I loved you 5 or 6 times during our 8 years together.
Now go make me a sandwich, and bring me a beer.

Lucy Doesn't Deserve Me

No, I haven't done anything spectacularly wonderful for our anniversary. OOps, I used that word.
I just threw that title up there so I can hear her scream "WHAT????" all the way from Tennessee when she reads it.
Yes, Lucy has been putting up with my shit for 8 years as of today. Poor woman.
Cheers Lucy, I love you.

I've been busy this weekend

Saturday I was supposed to go to work. I slept in a bit instead since Lucy hasn't really been here lately because of her arm, or helping me out with the family so that was nice. We then headed off to Armpit so I could mow yard and pick garden. Neighbors beat me to the garden, and I wasn't sad about that. Mom and Stepdad do have good people around them, they've been helping out a lot around there.
We came home and went to meet The Princess at The Dive but of course he got captured by his house and didn't show up. That was ok too. Lucy played a game on her phone and I read for a bit and home we came.
Today, I did go to work, where I wound up talking to a customer who travelled here by RV and came by to find us today since he's coming back tomorrow morning. He was quite chatty. Then I grocery shopped, went to The Dive and read for a couple of hours and came home to mow our yard. I'm now officially a tired bitch.
I'm gonna read for a bit and take my ass to bed. Night kids.

This is why Lucy loves me

I'm way sexay in some boxers and a hundred year old t-shirt.

I do worry about Lucy.

I'm the Queen of my own universe again

My fear of ineptitude has passed, I can now do anything again. That is a really good feeling.
Hopefully things will stay calm for a bit so I don't feel totally overwhelmed because really? I don't do overwhelmed very well.
I can deal with a shitload of work as long as I have a timetable on what is first, I didn't have that to start with. I can breathe now, so we won't have another meltdown until PMS......oh shit. It's about that time, but even that has been fucked up lately so maybe I'll get a pass this month.
In other news, Stepdad is going to be chained to a recliner because he can't behave. I did use this as ammo for Mom. He didn't want her to go anywhere or do anything while he was working and she was home alone, he wanted her to just stay there and sit in the fucking recliner. I told her tonight to remind him of that every chance she gets. I will.
Ok, I have a new book, catch you later kids.

Full Circle?

Annie, Golden Girl and I have been hanging out again. Plotting is happening. It's been years. Work may actually be fun again. We'll see.

Breaking News

HI

I wanted to let you know I started a bush fire last night. I was sittin on toilet smoking and didn’t have anywhere to dump ashes. You know me, where there’s a will there’s a way. I scooted back and dumped ashes between my legs into toilet. Well it’s hard enough to see over the girls and then add the stomach. I sat there a minute trying to figure out where the smell of burning hair was coming from. OHHH shit ….I started beating my bush. Well I got mirror out and looked and I had singed hair so I took scissors and trimmed off the burn so I have a bare spot about the sizes of a quarter. Luckily I didn’t burn my bush skin.

Talk to you later
Lucy



DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT REPEAT

Things I wish I could say to my Mother

We talk about a whole lot, I have a good relationship with her. There are just some things that aren't.....Ok to mention is the best I can do here.
We have years worth of those, but they've passed their expiration date. Recent ones are
1: Don't be so hard on his daughter, at least she's trying. She didnt' have to be there everyday, but she was. I know how hard it is to mend those fences.
2: Don't give in on the son, he IS a piece of shit.
3: Lighten up on Babysis. I know she's yours, but Spawn belongs to both of you, upsetting her doesn't do anybody any good.
4: Don't tout me as something I'm not. Yes, I was at the hospital every day but you were in my territory. You're also my Mom and I had to make sure you were able to take care of him. There were days I really didn't want to be there, but you raised me to take care of business.
5: I love you more than I can ever tell you. Because of you I have a sense of right and wrong, manners (not high faluting ones, but manners nonetheless) and courage to deal with whatever life brings me. I'll whine, but dammit I'll get there.
Ok, shots all around........I'm going to bed.

I need a brain transplant

It was Monday. New bosses are out of town but wanting shit, Old Boss was wanting something I kind of neglected in the turnover. I'm still not sure who I actually report to these days, it may be Annie before it's all said and done. I've been looking for a phantom phone line for almost a week, we're paying for something and noone knows where it is. Looks like it might be in my office. Hmmmm.
I stayed late to re-configure a switch, standing on a tall ladder in my office to reach the shit, head above the clouds kind of thing....and I really hate heights. After almost an hour of shit not working out the lightbulb finally went off, I had another switch in my office all ready to go, maybe I should just trade them out and go home. Dumbass. Laptop is still up there, I plugged up the shit and ran.
I'm also not sure what the hell Lucy did to my computer today, she was here waiting for a Dr. appt. she miscalculated, it was on but not even asleep when I got home and apparently some shit got installed....Sigh.
I'll chew her ass when she calls and take my tired ass to bed. Night kids.

It's been a long week

Stepdad is home and everything is cool. Mom wanted Annie's Bus, she was willing to swap her Jeep for it, I think that deal fell through.
I was at The Dive earlier and saw all the girls. I told them about Stepdad, The Widow asked me "Do you like him?" I wasn't sure how to take that.
I told her yes, he's a good guy and left it at that. The question just brought up other thoughts.
I love him, we've had problems, and I don't agree with some of the shit he's told Mom since she retired, but yes. I like him, love him, would hate to lose him.
Apparently either I'm special, or everyone is supposed to hate their step-parents.
I've been lucky to some extent. I came to care about Stepdad as I got older, babysis loves him, he's the only Dad she's ever known. Mom loves him so that counts, he and I do love each other, the past is the past with us.
Stepmom. I loved her forever. She always treated me like I was hers, she was awesome.
I guess I'm a bit sensitive right now too.
I think I'll go sleep.

Maybe back to our regular programming

I'm giving Lucy shit, "Our Movie" is on. Jurassic Park lll. I'll never forgive her for that one. She dragged me to that movie so she could use her girls to seduce me. I actually remember that was the movie, she was so intent on harnessing me that she doesn't even remember seeing it. I'm making her watch it now. Chair in front of tv, eyes duct taped open. She needs to see the horror she inflicted.

I think we're ok now

Stepdad got a pacemaker today, everything looks good and they're sending him home in the morning.
Annie needed to borrow my Jeep to take 2 of the kids to the vet so I borrowed her bus to take the 'rents home, all good. Lucy and I visited this evening and Lucy made Mom pee her pants. Lucy doesn't seem to realize clean clothes are at a premium right now because we've all been stupid and Babysis only brought Mom so many clothes.
I wrote it all out, but I think it was a "You had to be there moment." Pretty much, Lucy cracks Mom up so that was all good.
I'm gonna read a bit and take my ass to bed. Night kids.

Pacemaker Friday coming up

Stepdad is possibly getting the shock of his life tomorrow. We'll see.
Good thoughts kids. Thanks.

Hospital Stuff Still

I took Mom some boxer shorts and t-shirts (she asked) because whatever is going on with her leg isn't good and is apparently not shingles so, well shit.
Step-Brother (worthless piece of shit) actually has to be thanked for getting her better sleeping arrangements after I left last night, and I will thank him profusely because this morning when I showed up at 6:15 to take her to breakfast.....
She was sleeping, wearing blue checked boxers and a 10,000 Maniacs T-shirt. I was just too stupid to take a picture.
I have permission to sleep in tomorrow since I showed her how to get to the cafeteria this morning and she actually remembers the way now. (I think she's just afraid I'll remember to take a picture.)
Stepdad's doc said he might let him go tomorrow if his heart rate got up after he raced around the halls today. It didn't.
We'll see what tomorrow brings.
Night kids.

Stepdad Update

He was moved to a room early yesterday evening and amidst all the conflicting shit we're getting......I dunno. He's feeling better, spirits are better, everything seems better, but last night the monitor showed something so now more tests. We shall see I guess.
I can't get Mom to leave the hospital, hell right now she won't go far from the room, she's afraid of getting lost. She's exhausted. I also need to take my ass to bed because I'm either taking her breakfast or taking her to breakfast in the morning before I go to work unless she needs me before then. Hopefully not.
I came home early tonight to do laundry and had to iron the ugliest shirts I own because they were the only things clean at the time, the good ones are still drying and I'm not staying up for that.
Night kids.

White Dyke Terrorist

Mom needed clothes. She bitched all morning that Babysis was supposed to be bringing her clean clothes and even though she had already showered, she was wearing yesterday's duds. (Mom is a bit of a neat freak in case you can't tell. She had to have a new warm something to wear over her clothes today also because she wore the one Lucy brought her yesterday for a long time.) But I digress.
Babysis showed up with a black duffle full of stuff.
Between Mom and Lucy there was another bag full of stuff. They asked us to take everything out of the waiting room during the visit so they could clean.
Lockers are available so I went to get one for Mom so she could stash her stuff. Waaay too small for a duffle.
We compromised and moved stuff around, left her clothes for tomorrow and I was gonna take everything else to Babysis' vehicle and be done for the day with that.
Got a locker. All good. Showed Babysis how it worked. Couldn't lock it back. Sent Babysis on the visit since she hadn't been and messed with the locker. Finally asked Nice Lady at The Desk for help. She couldn't lock it either. After so many times we had to wait 10 minutes so she moved me to another. Pretty much the same result. Third time's the charm. She opened it, put in Mom's code and I threw the shit in there and locked it never to go back.
Whew, finally.
Now I'm off to put the black duffle bag in Babysis' vehicle. I knew she was on whatever level in the parking garage because we ran into each other when Lucy was leaving this morning so I was pretty sure I was ok. HA!
I didn't think anything about the lady on the elevator going to the garage looking at me kinda funny, I do look kinda funny, so we got out and I went towards the direction babysis came from looking for her car. I couldn't find it. I went to the end of the garage and started clicking the clicker so maybe it would chirp at me. Nothing. Oh that looks like hers over there.........nope. I walk half a level down, nope. I'm coming back up when I see the elevator lady sitting in her car watching me. Oh Shit.
I was headed back into the hospital to ask Babysis just where the fuck her car was when I remembered she was in Stepdad's truck. OH.
Elevator Lady crept on after she saw me find a vehicle. Later I realized what she may have thought. That poor woman.

A Reason To Keep Gas In The Car

I didn't stop for gas yesterday because I had enough to get to work today which was my plan and my favorite station is out there anyway so...
I got a phone call at 6:30 am from Babysis. Stepdad was on the way to the ER. IN AN AMBULANCE. That was all I needed to hear to know it was bad.
He had a heart attack and Armpit's hospital actually didn't waste any time, they flew him here which is a good thing. Long story short, it got ugly but at the moment he's fine. Only 1 blockage, stent put in during cath, Lucy is babysitting Mom tonight at the Hospital so Babysis and I can get some sleep because he's in CCU for at least another day, possibly 2.
Mom might be in bed with him by tomorrow since she got so stressed out, but let's hope not. I'm now off to sleep because my ass is beat and I need to go fight with Mom early in the AM so she'll come to my house and rest for a bit. Ya'll keep a good thought. Thanks.

It's been a long short week

Having Monday off really didn't help things, I almost took today off.
The Princess kicked my ass at darts, then Ms. Sweet kicked my ass, then Annie and Ms. Sweet beat up on me AND The Princess so that was enough of that. We had a good time and since the band was showing up we all headed out early anyway. Even Ms. Sweet was drinking tonight so apparently it was a bad week for everyone.
Lucy brought dinner and we're chilling. Shawshank Redemption is on, love this movie.
Have a good night kids.

Computers are pissing me off

I crashed mine at work this morning so it was a nasty day. Other people's problems were non-existent. I don't care that my baby is 6 yrs old and runs Win 2000, I love her.
We had to start over. She still saved stuff I thought I'd lost. I love her.
Except for my cd burner not working, that's not good. We'll start all over tomorrow.

I'm so lost. The new guys want shit I'm not sure I can deliver. It doesn't help that I'm stupid as hell right now.

Mom has my shingles because I'm stressed out beyond belief. I'm not qualified for the job I've had for 12 yrs. That's fucked up.

I'll be less stupid tomorrow so maybe that will help, but really? I haven't had to do shit other than keep things running. Technologically, it wasn't an issue. I'm way behind. It's my own fault.

Senile or just stupid?

I was leaving The Dive this evening and couldn't find my keys. They were in my ignition. I had the same problem last week at work, I was going to lunch and couldn't find my keys.........I'm seeing a pattern. Also my wide open Jeep is apparently not worth stealing. YAY! I'm sure my insurance company will be glad to hear that.
I'm going to read and take my ass to bed. Lucy is gone so I can have my side back.
Later kids.

I hate Tuesdays when it's Monday

A 4 day weekend really ruined me. I haven't been off that long in forever. I got burned at Ms. Fan's pool Friday, played with Spawn Saturday and pretty much vegged out Sunday. I did change my oil and assorted other shit yesterday so I wasn't a complete Slug.
Today was back to work, and the guys kept me late to talk about stuff and it looks like I'm gonna be busy. I think I might like this.
Funny, my recent foray into social life is apparently serving me well, I can talk to people without getting all stupid, stuttery and sweaty. I actually sound like an adult.
Lucy found me some new glasses today so I'll have to find something to wear with them tomorrow. Geeze, color co-ordinating around my eyeware, I have come a long way.
Oh and Lucy got cut and colored by Ms. Buttroy, I like, she's reserving judgement, I'll let you know.
Must sleep, later kids.

I've reached a new low

I was seen digging through the neighbor's trash.
I have a valid excuse or 12 for my behavior, but I'm sure the person passing on the street didn't care. At least I looked homeless while I was doing it.
My excuses.
1. I missed trash day last week.
2. The neighbors are out of town.
3. Their cans are still parked on the street.
4. Lucy being here has upped our trash production exponentially.
5. I lost a pack of cigarettes when I went over to throw our trash in their can.
With what smokes cost these days, I retraced my steps to try to find them. They were at the bottom of the neighbor's trashcan. I did tip that bitch over and retrieve them. People driving by saw my big ass in the air and my head in the can. They can get over it.
I'm now getting ready for bed since tomorrow actually starts my new week.
Later kids.

I need a younger Girlfriend

First, Lucy tells me I can't share The Three Stooges with Spawn. "Step by step, inch by inch... I survived them, loved them actually. Then she doesn't recognize "Burning Down The House" by The Talking Heads.
I think we may need to talk.
Spawn needs to know all this and everything in between.

Happy 4th a bit late

Lucy and I saw Spawn today, he put me through my paces and I probably won't be able to move tomorrow (ok, later today). He met us at the car with a Super Soaker his granny provided him with because she's just that way. He was allowed to shoot me but Aunt Lucy was off limits since she's handicapped. I call bullshit, but that's the way it was. He and I ran around the yard with Babysis all taking turns shooting each other, I left my gun at home. I'll be sure to pack it for the next trip.
After all that he decided to swim and I had to watch. He got tired of me watching so I had to run and bunny hop into the pool with him. Hence my not being able to move later because yes I did. Thankfully Mom had some jeans she meant to give me anyway.
He also put on a show for us. He's pretty damned good.

Neighbors

The Bionic Woman and I went over to Ms. Fan's house to visit the pool today. I got burnt but it was nice. We came home to see my guy across the street packing up and leaving. Dammit, I liked him, even though he would never offer to wash my car. No, I don't know his name and he doesn't know mine but we shot shit across the street whenever we were both out. At least he wasn't dealing. I'm sorry to see him go.
He also left his nice grill sitting out front, Lucy and I are watching to see if it disappears, it might soon....

Annie called me before she left for the parent's house to tell me the guy next door (who I still don't know) came over and introduced himself and asked her if she'd mind if they shot off fireworks tomorrow. She's not going to be here, but she said fine so I'll be sure to stop by and say "Thanks for asking" and actually meet my neighbors. It looks like a new day all the way around at the Wolf House.

Dropping Like Flies

I hate it about Farrah.........and yeah ok, about all the rest. Malden died today which sucked, but dammit I draw the line at Mollie Sugden. I'll miss her and her Pussy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unmkX15AeN8

Lucy is a walking, talking blob

Lucy had her arm surgery today. Yes, another surgery. Rotater cuff and severed tendon are supposedly fixed.

I'll leave you with that image while I send her to bed so I can sleep on the couch tonight.
Later kids.