Killer Kitty

I ran into a friend at The Dive tonight. He told me this story.
He came home one night, undressing on his way into his bedroom, saw his cat's toys lying around. One of them moved. He shrieked (screamed like a girl) and jumped into his bathroom, closing the door.
After a bit he looked out, called his cat and she came running to save the day. He pointed out the obvious (by now) mouse and she kicked it's ass all the way into the living room while he cowered in the shower.
Pussy.
Heh. He said he came out after the fight, she was sitting in the living room, dead mouse at her feet, looking at him like "What?" Kitties are cool.

No, it wasn't The Princess, this was a straight guy. That makes it even better.

Today was productive

I got up, headed to the shower, said fuck it, called in and went back to bed. I lounged around for awhile trying to decide whether or not to get up before finally falling back to sleep. It was good.
Yard got mowed, Jeep got a quickie bath and an oil change, things that really needed to be done.
I cleaned up and went to visitation for the Barfly, holy shit that place was packed. I got in line but there was no way that was gonna finish up before the service and even tho I liked the guy, I just really don't do those unless I have to so I left.
Got some new eyes since my only blue ones are falling apart from forgetting to take them out of my pocket when I play with Spawn.

I like them so piss on everyone telling me I look like Dame Edna. Hit the bookstore for some new reading material and got to The Dive way earlier than usual. I don't really fit in with the afternoon crowd, bartender gave me money to play the jukebox so she didn't have to listen to them. That was cool. Debated food for the longest time, came home and made some tuna salad with whole grain noodles and tomato, put that away for Annie and ate a fried egg sandwich and potato chips. Yum.
The Good Wife is on, it's a re-run but apparently I missed it first time so I'll do that, talk to Lucy and take my ass to bed since who knows what tomorrow will be like, but it was nice to have a day to myself. Later kids.

Barflies are dropping like.......well flies

Got a text from All Time Favorite Bartender about a Friday's regular. Dammit. He and I weren't great friends or anything, but we'd see each other pretty much every day and say hello, he had beautiful eyes.
Back in the day when I drank way more than I do now, I know, hard to imagine, but I'm tame compared to 10 yrs ago.
We ran in the same circles party-wise too. He kicked my ass at pool one night when my partner was too drunk to shoot and I couldn't afford to lose that 20 bucks. Oh well, pay up and sack up. He bought me a drink the next time I saw him.

I'll catch up on everything else later because Damn, it was Monday.
Later kids.

I Don't Know Why Everyone Hates These

I think they're kinda cute, and they matched my shirt so there.

This Just In

Barbara Bush hospitalized for not feeling well. She's 84. Damn, I wish I had waited until I was that age to feel bad. Makes my feeling like shit today kinda irrelevent doesn't it?

For Real?

Grannie sent me an award, I was thinking when she told me about it that the Asshole of The Year Awards aren't until November so I was quite surprised to see this. I like to think she's reliving her youthful indiscretions through me without the good music and drugs. I hope to grow up just like her.

Here are the rules:
1. Place the award on your blog or within your post.
2. Pass the award on to 12 Sunny Bloggers -- those whose positivity and creativity inspire others!
3. Link to the nominees in your post.
4. Tell the nominees they've received the award by commenting on their blogs.
5. Share the love and link to the person from whom you received the award.

I'm not good on the passing along stuff, but here you go.

Lucy because she makes me laugh on a regular basis.

YM because she's an inspiration every day.

Brooklyn because she's been around long before I was blogging, and I love her stories.

I really can't think of anyone else, Grannie would be tops, and Pissy second, but they're accounted for.

I'm also rather brain dead from a good dinner that is either giving me indigestion from hell or a heart attack. We'll hope for the former while I kick Lucy's ass at bowling. Night kids.

Damn Owls

Lucy can't be bothered with me now since she has Owls to watch.
We did Gnome night again.
Lucy asked if I was letting them win. I told her no, I was used to playing with myself, I was just holding out for the threesome tonight.
I guess I'm sleeping on the couch.

33%

I've been practicing my darts lately since I have some time on my hands and all. Ok, not really so much time, but I'm usually at The Dive by myself lately so after I get tired of reading, I throw darts. By myself. Shut up, I've always been an eccentric old lady, I'm just now getting to the old part. I've noticed a trend, I can hit what I aim at twice and then who knows?
This is where I'm supposed to make a crappy comparison to life and all, but yeah, fuck that. I fail at that at least 75% so not even worth bullshitting about.
I need to sleep. Night kids.

Responsible Pants and Death

I put on the seriously responisible pants this morning. They're black and a bit snug, but at least I wasn't hanging over anywhere so that's good.
I got on the Wii Fit board when I got home this evening to find out it's been 119 days since I visited, but I've lost 12 lbs. Fuck you Wii fit.
Ok, so I did a couple of things, now my legs and ass are mad. I hate it when my ass is mad at me, it's saggy, but pissy when poked. Hopefully we'll make up soon and it'll look good again in my responsible pants, but I doubt it.

There's been way too much talk of death in my life the last few days. Mom caught me way off guard last night about Granny and Middlesis. Lucy's mom's deathaversary was yesterday, The Assholes dog died Monday, I have a cousin with lung cancer whose brother was just diagnosed with esophagal cancer and he's not doing well at all.
Not good.

I think I'll go talk to Lucy and take my ass to bed. I've had enough for one night. My ass is still bitching at me.

Yay, it's a new post

It's been a week and it's only Tuesday. Ok, Wednesday now which means I should be in bed. Actually I think I'll just head there, nothing good is going to come of this. Night kids.

Dad Spoils Us and More Fun

Lucy mentioned fire in an e-mail to Dad the other day. We wheeled in around 9 and there was a nice blaze in the firepit. Should have picked up hotdogs instead of chicken, but there ya go.
The gnomes beat up on me at The Dive before we left town Friday night so of course a re-match is already in the works for next week.
Dad gave up on us around midnight, Lucy and I stayed up until all the wood was burned, probably somewhere around 2. I hit the bed and didn't move until 8:30 or so. I then proceeded to stay there some more until Lucy and Dad showed up with my breakfast tray around 10, life was good. Of course that was a joke, but it was funny. Dad even picked some daffodils to put on the tray for me.
We hung out the rest of the day with him and his phone stalker. She was calling about every 15 minutes. Bitch. Still managed to have a good time. He's almost perfected fried pies. Homemade dough this time, we had peach and chocolate. He made them, I cooked them. I haven't eaten so much sugar in I'm not sure when.
Actually I've eaten more of anything this weekend than I have in I'm not sure when.

We finally left Dad's house Saturday afternoon and Mom had ham, white beans, potatoes, corn and cornbread. I've also eaten more of my share of salt this weekend since I can't stay away from some ham. We Wii bowled a few games, Mom got the first, I got the rest. Poor Lucy. Mom kicked my ass at some Wii pool and off to Spawn's house for the night where he crashed hard not long after we got him home. Babysis had to work this morning so she couldn't stay up too late with us either. We managed. Lucy and Spawn watched movies while I got to sleep in yet again YAY! He did come in and turn the light on to try to entice me to get up, but at least he didn't punch me this time. Moved on to make more cornbread and heat up leftovers for the 'rents when they got home from church, timing was almost perfect. Ate some more, hung out a bit and time to come home. It was a great weekend.
Tomorrow it's work again dammit. Oh well, enjoyed it while it lasted.

So.....almost TGIF

I went to The Dive last night to throw some darts, had regular beer instead of the green variety and kicked some ass for a bit. Then I apparently hit the downhill side of things and couldn't win a game to save my life. Time to come home. I talked to several people, Mom being one of them. I don't remember telling her I'd meet her for lunch today, but she says I did. Of course, she could tell me that just for the hell of it because she's like that anyway.
I was late to work because I had stuff to do this morning, then got slammed when I got there. Nothing new. Threw a few darts this afternoon and brought my ass home yet again, got reading to do ya know.
Bag is packed to head out to Dad's tomorrow night after throwing darts with the gnomes. Supposed to be 70 Saturday, so I may actually be a happy camper.
Y'all have a good weekend, I'm going to finish my book and take my ass to bed after Lucy calls.

Crack Stop

I stopped at the Crackstop yesterday on my way to The Dive for smokes. Strange people and locksmiths were there. I went on my way.
Stopped back by on my way home, Strange people were still there along with my buddy who immediately adds smokes to my order when I get the the counter. I said "What the hell?" Buddy said the store had new owners. Guy who sold me smokes earlier was asking what I thought. Told him I'd let him know in a month. Buddy was telling him to be nice to me. I'm there every day. I can't believe nobody told me, assholes.
Damn, I may have to quit smoking.
No poo and no smokes all in the same day. I'm not sure I'll get through the night.

Cleaning the backlog

Sunday at The Dive.
I had some stuff to do, got there a bit late for my usual Sunday reading and quiet time. Mrs. Asshole and her friend were sitting at my table. Told Mrs. Asshole I was going to start charging her rent since she and the Mr. were there Saturday when I showed up. They insisted I join them so there went my reading. Instead we talked about shit. Literally.
I decided then and there this will be the last poo post I ever make because damn. I really didn't need to hear about shitting the bed incidents. Apparently that has happened to both of them. I didn't even share the story about shitting my pants on the way home from a dinner party because I was that grossed out. So, we are now a shit free zone. There will probably still be occasional bullshit, but I won't bore you with my bowel movements anymore. I'm sure I'll hear a collective sigh of relief over that one.
I'm going to see if I can track Lucy down so I can take my ass to bed since I need to be there early to put the hamster on the wheel. It threw the whole day off when I showed up on time instead of early today so... Which reminds me, something I need to do from here before I forget. Night kids.

I have a backlog

There are posts waiting to be written......since I'm wearing my responsible pants lately I've been busy. So I'll just get to the latest one first.

Music
Annie was bitching recently about my choice of late night listening. "It's all sad crap about missing somebody."
I beg to differ, it's music I enjoy for whatever reason. Usually it's voice, but sometimes it's related to what I'm thinking or doing. I actually have very few songs I associate with people, and I've never sat on the couch with a tub of Ben and Jerry's listening to Eric Carmen, so there.
I was listening to Maria Mckee earlier while I ironed since I re-re-discovered her while looking for Beth Hart........as I was singing along I got what she meant.
Since she's not a big music person, she probably doesn't get it. (She prefers Madonna and Lady Gaga to anything I have.)
I like a good voice, something other than repetitive lyrics. I don't care what the song is about, I was singing and ironing everything I owned earlier. Yeah, most of her songs are about loss, or love or whatever, but the music was good, lyrics were good. Glad Lucy wasn't here to tape me dancing at the ironing board.
Now going to talk to Lucy about that spell check......

Lucy's blog

Lucy asked me if I cared if she started a blog. I said no. Now she's asking why I'm bitching. I've just spent an hour trying to help her set up her shit.
"But you said you didn't care."
"I don't, you missed the point of I don't care."
"Bitch."
"Ms. Bitch to you, wanna go to bed?."
"Yep."
Night kids, and happy daylight savings time.

A Parody

I was hanging out with Babysis the week before she had Spawn. Brick House came on the radio. This is kinda what it looked like. She was cleaning off her kitchen counter. I should have had a towel in my hand.

It's Friday!!!

I was home at 7:00. Big night for me. Band was at The Dive, The Gnomes managed to beat me in darts before I left (Lucy and Ms. Sweet) and I only get one turn a round. Cheaters. We'll have a re-match next week.
Other than that, Friday was pretty much useless.
Lucy brought me turnip greens and fried chicken for dinner along with a bunch of other stuff. She says I haven't had enough veggies lately. Potato wedges are veggies dammit. I did have broccoli today, she'll regret that later heh.
Going to watch Dreamgirls and take my ass to bed early for a change. It's been a long ass week. Night kids.

Don't Hate

Those pounds I told you I gained? I lost them and then some. I was in the bathroom at The Dive after I untucked my shirt and realized I looked like I was wearing my older brother's clothes.
I'm not a size 2 by any means, and if I'd give up the beer I'd drop another 20 quickly. Beer has been pretty much my only sustenance lately, which might explain the liquid fire shooting outta my ass on a daily basis. Hops ya know. Fiber.
I know, and I'm not complaining, Lucy is.
Sorry for the TMI, I need to sleep now since I need to be at work early tomorrow. Damn job. I just wanna bang on my drums all day.

For Pissy

I like it much better, less mousse this way.

GOT MY HAIRS CUT!!!!!

I told the boss I came in early, I'm leaving early unless you have a problem with that, because I'm tired of looking at me and I'm pretty sure you are too. He laughed.
FUCK, I missed The Good Wife because I was on the phone for what seems like 12 hours.
Mom and I are good again. I should probably call babysis to make sure, but it's late for her so, no.
I think it's music time, there's nothing on tv, I have clothes for tomorrow. I'll have to iron tomorrow because that's the bottom of the barrel. Damn.
Need to talk to Lucy, she should be back around soon.
Night kids.

I Was On a Mission From Gahd

Ok, not really, but I was going to Bumfuct, Egypt to take care of some business, so close enough.
Traffic was a bitch, I finally get to my turn that I know and see a "Road Closed" sign. You're kidding right? Get back in traffic thanks to the nice person behind me who saw the big "L" tattoo on my forehead. Go up a bit and turn off again. Into nothing. Dammit. Yes, I made a U-ey, and went back down the road to do another one so the people I was in traffic with earlier wouldn't see me again.
Finally found another road that would get me to where I was going. Obviously I haven't been out this way in years, it was all trees last time I was here. Now there are businesses and lights and shit. Tried to turn at the wrong light. Shit. Had to get back over and go down another street until I found where I was supposed to be. An hour and a half later I'm finally back to where I'm comfortable and stopped at The Dive even tho that wasn't in this evening's plans. Had a couple of beers and came home where all the energy I was going to expend on housecleaning had already been used up.
I am loving Monkeewrench by P.J. Tracy, I had to make myself put it down and come home from The Dive because I had plans at that moment.
Now, taking my ass to bed so maybe I can go to work early tomorrow. I need to leave early because I'm looking like a fuzzy brown Q-tip. I'm way past due for a haircut.
Lucy didn't like the visual I gave her about that, so I now have permission to cut my curls off. Night kids, and I'll call Mom tomorrow just so you know.

Instead of a Comment on the last post

Thanks, Granny. You made me cry again. You too Pissy, granny just got there first.
I didn't mean to come across so harsh on Mom (I guess that's the word I want), it was just cool Dad said what he said. Mom loves me and I love her and that's all good, just sometimes (especially since she's retired and has nothing better to do) she expects more hoop jumping than usual. Lately just hasn't been the time for her to be that way. Poor Lucy gets most of it since if I don't call Mom, she calls Lucy to bitch. She doesn't seem to realize I have a phone too and instead of waiting for me to call, she could initiate.
Dad and I have had a tumultous to almost non-existent relationship most of my life. It's good to finally get to bond with him. The last year and a half since Stepmom died, we've talked a lot, and spent time together, and it's been good. It wasn't Stepmom's fault we didn't before, I was actually closer to her than I was him, so losing her I guess gave us something more in common.
Anyway, thanks again, and it'll be ok. Mom should be out of her snit in a couple of days, I'll call and we'll get over it. Until then, Poor Lucy.

Well Saturday was wasted

I didn't get a haircut, I pretty much didn't get anything done, but it was ok. We went to breakfast with The Princess, then messed around the house. Got a reply to an e-mail I sent Dad last night about being busy and stuff and shit going on, letting him know I'd need a weekend at Dad's retreat before long. It made me cry. Lucy immediately jumped on the computer and told him how proud she was that he turned me into a blubbering pussy. She also thanked him for being the cool parent, all he said was he was there if I needed him. Then she told me about the conversation with Mom yesterday....then I had to go have a drink. Mom can't be pleased.
Does anybody know what it is about being a mom that makes your adult child the recipient of all your wrath no matter what you do? I'm a good kid, but no matter what she finds fault. That's what made Dad's e-mail so cool.
Gonna find something to watch and head to bed. Night kids.

Free For All Friday

It's been a stupid week. Damn full moon leftovers.
White Rabbit is playing, I'm trying to convince Lucy that Alice was into drugs. She insists on clinging to her belief that Alice was misled. Poor girl.
I think I should make her take me out for HASHBROWNS as punishment for being naive.
I seriously need a haircut, my curls have grown curls dammit. I should find time for this tomorrow somewhere, I hope. Shit.

My Stalker Showed Up

I kicked her ass at darts a couple of times. We talked a bit after that. She's actually getting out of the house and doing things, good for her. Lucy just wishes she'd do things somewhere else. It's cute Lucy is jealous. Course, I was cute today so....

Ok, I'm making myself sick with that shit.

Where were these people when I hated my job?
I have an offer, or 2 for real jobs suddenly. I guess it's the khakis.

The Weather Sucks

I woke up at 5 this morning and decided it wasn't worth it. Still awake at 6, nope, went back to sleep. Showered dressed, on my way to work, and woke up. Dammit, I hate it when that happens.
I got up and did it all over again at 7 and opened the door to a blizzard. That lump in the front yard was my Jeep. Dammit again. I shushed my way down the mountain, occasinally screaming "Mush" just because.
By lunch it was pretty much gone.
All home and toasty now, hoping for a non-repeat tomorrow. I'd like to sleep until 7 before doing any showering thank you very much.
Supposed to be 40-something tomorrow anyway. Damn weather.