Wondered When It Would Happen

My Brother, (who really isn't) showed up at The Dive tonight. Haven't seen much of him lately, mostly because neither of us have been there much, but that's a different story. He proceeded to tell me that he'd heard some news that just blew him away because he never expected it.
Someone felt the need to tell him that our recently deceased friend was gay, and backed it up with old text messages. I think I know who did it, but I didn't ask because I feigned ignorance. I told my fake brother that I didn't know, and obviously it was something that B didn't want known or he would have heard it before now.
I did know, I'm one of the first people he told, but it's not  something he wanted people to know, and certainly not something he would want people talking or speculating about now, so it's not something I'll gossip about. And I guess that's what it boils down to. I never gave away his secret when he was alive, and I'm offended someone else would now. Dawned on me later those texts my brother got while we were playing darts were apparently from someone telling him I was lying, because suddenly he told me twice how much he loved me and what a good friend I was. I don't care if he knows I lied, what B and I talked about was between us, and I knew then as I know now, he didn't want me sharing it, and that's it.
And yeah, this gets put here because I can't even tell Annie about this one. She'd just stir up a whole new kettle of shit if I told her there was gossip.

Not Having Fun Anymore

It was a day. Took my bandaids off in the shower from the knocking half my forearm skin off yesterday. Bathroom looked like the scene from Psycho by the time I got to the sink and got another bandage on. And then another bandage over that.
Had a bad hair day becuase of all that drama, couldn't find my zippo, even came back in the house looking for it and no dice, so I went to work with Bics instead.
I'm tired of the whiner/hypochondriac (I've listened to everything every day, and it only changes if she has something new going on, and every few weeks, something new goes on.) The other one is ok, but she doesn't get that I'm covering for her when she wanders off on her mission from Gahd, and it's really not part of my job to do that.
I didn't get in trouble per se, but I did something wrong and was spoken to about it today. Not a big deal, except I'm emotional as hell for some reason and I haven't been like that in awhile so I'm scairt about it. Main thing about that was yes, I did screw up something, it's fixable, and got fixed immediately, but got talked to about other things that I've already fixed because someone told me to, so she didn't need to send him to tell me again. That pissed me off. She doesn't even work there, and she tells me to change things, I do because she works at a store that supposedly knows what they're doing.
Back to Not Having Fun Anymore.
I also hurt myself again because I'm stupid, but on top of that I hurt everyday because I'm too old for this shit. Tempted to apply to the office job that's open, but they didn't interview anyone we knew for the other one, so don't think I'd stand a chance. Need to start looking for a real job anyway since this one is no longer amusing. On the other hand, I'll get insurance next month so it's worth staying for. Tomorrow will be better. Cat and I are going to bed.

Sentimental Journey

Talking with The Assholes tonight, about someone else, who apparently has no sentiment whatsoever, was different.

I lost my 6 dollar ring one day.
Got home, noticed it was gone, and was willing to just write it up to oh well, it was 6 bucks. Then I missed it, and I bought it on a Christmas shopping trip with Mom, and I don't do those very often, and at the time she was in Chemo so I went back and hunted for that damned ring until I found it. With the help of the bartender, who knew none of the backstory, but she's a good person  so all good for the day.

I do have feelings for things, and memories associated with things. I don't understand people who don't. Some music reminds me of some people, either still here or not, and some actions make me smile because I learned that from someone who is no longer here, but I remember, so they kinda are.

Been a strange day.

Happity VD

It was a night, the faux parents threw darts and I beat them after Annie left because Whee. I dunno.
She and I couldn't beat them together so, I guess there is something there.

Lucy has gone off the deep end again. I don't know what to do about that because Lucy and I are done. She just keeps on with the crazy which is why we are done.

babycat just got in my lap and said fuck all that.

Besides the Fact I Don't Make Sense

I found a couple of things I wrote, didn't post, but liked tonight. So there you go. I think Grannie and I are the only ones who still read, so not a problem. Sometimes I surprise myself by actually having something worth saying. Cat has taken away my left arm, btw. He wanted a chin rest, so this typing is a bit slow. Guess I'll give up and go to bed.

Scary How Much My Bullshit Skills Have Grown

Annie is concerned about changing positions and asked me for my opinion. I surprised myself with all the keywords I know for saying " I don't fucking like this and would rather not, thank you very fucking much, but I need the job so just don't fuck me over too bad in the process."

I'm still happily being a peon, in retail, and those are words I never thought I'd utter either, but it is what it is.

Mr. Asshole told me tonight he had never seen anyone more miserable in their job than I was at the old one. I didn't realize how miserable I was until that one was gone. He tells me I'm a much happier person now, WTF? He's not the most observant individual in the world, so I liked that he noticed when I didn't.

I'm now...........probably going to bed because I do have a job to go to in the morning, and I thank Dog everyday that I have one. Even on foggy, rainy, or snowy days, at least I have a job dammit. I was without one long enough to be appreciative.
Later kids.