Not So Much Done

Annie finally got up and left to go out of town. Told me not to mope and called Mrs. Asshole so I was guaranteed not to. I'm ok with part of it, but I really did just want time at home to do shit so...I dunno. I had permission to go somewhere else and drink, when I should have been at home cleaning shit I wanted cleaned. This won't last long.
Annie is gonna have to leave for a few days so I can do my shit, and leave me alone about it.
I'm thinking tomorrow since she's all about something else and I'm all done so, she should go while I work.
I don't know that I'll stay here, and I've hoarded shitloads of stuff over the years, so I'd like to burn, clean, get done.
My old life doesn't matter anymore, I have a clean slate now, I just need to decide what I'll write on it.

Stuff Done

Got the storage building cleared out today. Planning a yard sale since I don't need most of this shit. Tired and sore, but at least that's done.
I think tomorrow will be yard work and hanging out and Tuesday start some wheels turning on getting other stuff sorted since everyone will be back in business. All the parentals know what's up now, Annie told hers today, so at least that's out of the way. Think I'm gonna go sit on the deck and smoke and maybe go through a couple of boxes, my back is killing me and sitting here isn't helping.
Later kids.

I gave up

Lucy has been after me for a bit about Napoleon. I played nice.
I talked to mom earlier, she's ok. I'm ok, tomorrow I have to get in the real world again, I gave myself yesterday and today to be drunk. And I did. I'll be back in the real world tomorrow.I'll be visiting people for a few days since I can.
Off to see the Wizard. Night kids.

The One Where I Got Fired

Got up late yesterday, got to work at 8:15, got fired by 8:30. Annie was getting it when I got there apparently. We came home, packed up some stuff and went to The Asshole's house and proceeded to get trashed. Yes, we spent the night there.
I called Dad because we were thinking about going to his house to fish, but never made it. Now I'm trying to work up the nerve to tell my Mother. Joy, joy.
Have a good day kids, I'm going to figure out what unemployed people do all day.

Yes, I Am

Either stupid or just a big old softie. My Brother (who really isn't) showed up at The Dive tonight with his friend we usually throw darts with, and a very drunk young man I've never seen before. Brother proceeded to leave me with them, which wasn't a horrible problem since I like his friend. The kid decided to talk to me. I hope he was for real and not spinning me a tale just because he had me almost crying. On the other hand I hope he wasn't.
He said he's supposed to be heading to Afghanistan but got a text that he needed to get home, his Mother was in a bad way. He says he got a phone call, (and this is part of where I hate myself) I didn't hear or see his phone ring. He came back and said his Mom had passed.
I don't like being this suspicious of people. He didn't ask me for anything, he didn't come on to me or act stupid, but...
After he asked about the airport and left I actually drove around for a bit to see if he was walking since I had no idea.
So many people are stupid personified that I'm leery. I don't like that.
If the kid was for real, at least I gave him a hug and a heartfelt "I'm sorry."
It's sad that we have to safeguard ourselves so much. I want to belive everything he told me was true, but I'll never know.
That's what makes me sad, that yes, I am that heartless person.
I think too fucking much.

Still Here, It's Just Been Busy

I can't even remember most of what's gone on so let's just do the weekend. Spawn graduated from Pre-K and of course I had to attend. Me, small children, hot-as-hell church? Recipe for disaster. Add the hangover I was experiencing and it had all the makings of a Rapture (heh). I behaved, it was actually very nice, but I was also at the mercy of Babysis and The Parentals since I didn't drive myself to the venue. I did maintain until everything was all done, there was much food, and seeing the tornado damage on the way to Mom's house, and how close it actually was, scared the shit out of me. They're way lucky.

Sunday was fishing with Dad. I've been trying to get down there for weeks but stuff and weather kept messing me up. Annie and I finally made it and we caught a shitload of fish in only 2 stops. It started thundering so Dad took us home, which was ok, we kept over 50 bream, who knows how many we threw back. They caught a few catfish too (I didn't get one, but I got the biggest bream, so there) the only keeper in that bunch laughed at Dad as he got to the boat and spit out the hook. I haven't seen too much of Dad lately, so that's always good, and I usually drag a bunch of people with me these days, so it was nice to just be almost us. He was flirting with Annie and apparently asking her to take a trip with him when I wasn't around, but that's ok too. He could do worse.

Boss is still something that rhymes with his name, but I've found my balls again so I'm not going to get all upset. Fuck him. I don't have time for his Napoleonic Complex, and if worse comes to worse, he's almost the right height to just kiss my ass.

Going to check in with Lucy since she's been stuck at home lately for one reason or another, and probably put my ass in bed because I'm tired. I've been too busy and trying to keep late hours and early mornings on top of that lately. I think I need to re-charge. Night kids.

Dreams and Premonitions

I've had those all my life. Sometimes spot on, but usually, just something leading up to something. Tonight is gonna be a bad night if I remember correctly. So far it's ok, so I'm a bit worried about what might happen later.
No wonder I'm crazy. I have real world and about to happen world in my head all the time. They're in the Jacuzzi with drunk shit I don't remember and those people I may or may not know.
Sigh.
Even throwing out the drunks, this is my brain. This is why I drink. I can't sleep because something is always there. I slept better sick than I ever have, it was awesome. Fever and pain made me give up on everything, sleep was my best friend. Even the nights sitting up snoozing were better than dreaming.
Yeah, just thought I'd share my darkest thoughts with ya for a minute before I go try to find my non-existent balls again.
I don't feel the same lately. Apparently my blogging has reflected that since I'm not really here anymore.
I left it for a lack of electricity. I wanted to talk about Mom's party some more, and pictures, but my stuff was at work. Then our world went dark so it didn't really matter anymore.
And my sitting in the dark for a week was nothing compared to what a lot of other people went through.
This has turned into a major ramble.Sorry. I think I found the depression that I've been missing.
I'll go to bed now.

I almost Forgot Pictures

Our semi-matching hair.

Mom's Tiara

New Gray Hairs

I think I sprouted at least a dozen new ones last night. The Handsome Devil had a seizure on me. Annie was in her room asleep and couldn't hear me screaming at her, I finally left him to get her up because he scared the shit out of me. He came out of it and seems ok, but geeeze. I don't want to do that again anytime soon. I know he's on borrowed time, he was 14 last month, but.... Yeah, the but. I was scared to come home today, but he's good. Think it's time to put my ass in bed. Night kids.

Pedophile

Lucy and I were talking, I realized when she was 20, I was 6. And I'm getting called all kinds of bitch for that. She's just mad I'm less wrinkly, and cooked her an awesome steak. They didn't know about seasoning in the Stone Age. I guess Dinosaur was kinda tough.
Quitting while I'm ahead, she'll probably kill me in my sleep.

Different, Funny, stupid

After the tornadoes was stupid, different, and different. The first night there was a generator running in the dark. The next night there were 6. WE did what people do, we drove to find gas and hung out with Annie's parents who had power to do it. There was a lot of reading in the dark, I told Annie I won't make fun of her gadgets anymore.
I'm still lamenting the loss of my nipple ring, I had to take off, out, all my jewlry last week for surgery. I dropped my ring down the drain since I was a dumbass, and it was dark, I replaced it tonight with a barbell instead of a ring. At least I have heft again when I put my boob in my bra.
Simple pleasures. I also spent a week sober, in the dark. It wasn't bad. I'm just not sure I want to do it again any time soon. I'm thinking about habits, and that is one. I don't really have to drink, I just do. Going to bed, night kids.

World Upside Down

So.... it's been awhile. Thankfully me and mine are all ok. My heart does go out to those who aren't. It's been a seriously weird week. Whining about no power was about all I could do, but it was just something to say for the most part. I survived, cold showers and all, and it wasn't that bad. Lots of people didn't live to see cold showers, and lots of people didn't even have water, so yes, I'm lucky, and thankful for it.
I've never seen anything like this. 1974 is the measure of my tornado stories. It was bad, but this was worse. I hope I never see anything like it again.
I'll have stupidity later, there was plenty of it, but for now, just send a good thought this way for all the people who are still trying to get their lives back together.