Time To Pay Attention

Apparently I've been outta control again. I don't remember writing or posting that Wednesday. Actually I don't remember a whole lot of dark time all this week.
I know we had dinner with The Assholes last night, and I got into a political discussion with Mr. Asshole, which I never do, but hell, I was fearless and had tequila in me. We agreed to disagree and I'm pretty much blank after that. At least I woke up in my own bed with everything intact.
Annie didn't completely shun me today so I must not have said anything stupid to her, so I guess I'm good.

Went to the Gnome's house and painted her front door, which made her happy. Latest report is she's all good. Cancer was apparently localized because they can't find anything anywhere else so YAY! Nice to have some good news.

Haven't heard from the latest job prospect where I may have had a shot, so.... Back to the same old.

Thinking next week would be a good time to quit drinking for awhile because I can, and I've gained about 20 lbs from drinking too much lately. I don't like having love handles anymore. Guess it's time to go to bed. Night kids.

Here we GO AGAIN.
Yeah, fuck capitalization because it's not working right tonight either. So.... crickets......
I don't know why I bother lately. Still job hunting, rejection e-mails are piling up on the virtual table here. Clogging up the inbox I guess.
I think I need to sleep again. What I want to talk about, I can't. And that sucks.

Zip

I just realized I need to check the e-mail for this. Notes from the Universe has probably filled up my inbox in my absence.

I guess it's ongoing...

I've been doing stuff for the Gnome this week. Today I stayed home with intentions of shopping and shipping and getting things done. I sat on my ass in front of the computer all day and didn't do shit. I don't know why, but Donna Summer dying brought on a wave of grief. I finally showered this afternoon because Annie was on her way home and wanted to go out. I didn't, and by the time she got here and sat for a few she didn't either. I did, just because, and wasn't happy about any of it.
I've been home for awhile, hoping that shot I had would kick in and I'll be really drunk so I can just fall in bed and sleep. So far, nothing. TV and Castelville are getting old. I looked for jobs again............Phlebotomist is my new calling, let's hope they call me.
I'm tired, and tired, and I've gotta get off my ass. Going back to work on the Gnome's house tomorrow so I'll get out of the house, and maybe I'll get some of that other list done. After all, tomorrow is another day.

Desperation leads to.... Insanity?

After the toy store with the giraffe decided I can't even stock shelves for them, I got a bit more depressed. I signed on to be a long haul trucker. I just have to go to Indiana to get my CDL and I'm on the road!

I think I can do the job, but the 3 weeks in a motel while I train might be a bit much for me. I'm too much of a homebody for that. Indecisive? Yep. It's a job, and it's good money, it's also stupid at my age. Maybe. Crap, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I have till 3pm tomorrow to decide for sure.

Think I'll go make a list of pros and cons and see if there's anything new out there. Later kids.

Having a Day, or Night at this point

Apparently I am PMSing like hell because all I've wanted to do today is cry. That's not a good thing. I swell up like a blowfish, so I'd rather do that in the privacy of my dark bedroom late at night if I'm gonna do it. That may happen later, I managed to stave it off, but I still don't have to like it dammit. I had a metaphor too, but it fell by the wayside.
Actually it was long and drawn out and yeah. Done with that.
I think I'll go play stupid for awhile and then actually sleep. Later kids.

And Once More...

Been busy not doing a lot, but doing a lot. Funny how easy that is when you have too much time on your hands. I've had the headache from hell for a couple of days and I hope it's just allergies, stress or my pillow since there's that little issue of my Jeep having insurance, but me? Not so much.
PMS Meds helped a bit today, so maybe it's that. The end result of that just shows up when it wants to, but so far the symptoms seem to still hang around. Just the first time I've really had a bad headache in awhile, so I really don't like it.
Anyways, stuff lined up for tomorrow that involves ironing and getting the metal out of my face, which I wasn't able to accomplish tonight probably because I have no patience right now, so I'll fix that in the morning too. Nothing really promising, but it's something.
I'm pretty tired of rejection and feeling completely worthless so off to see if I can sell myself into something completely different. Wish me luck I haven't lost those semi-developed bullshit skills from the old job that I need to dust off again.
Other than that, not much to report. Need to sleep, so I'll probably go play around online for a couple of hours and get around to that. Night kids.